people.. they just come and go.

158

2010-09-28T22:25:00.001+08:00

people.. they still come and go.
but some leave footprints that will be remembered, for a long long time to come.
thank you, audrey.

157

2010-01-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

有些人注定一个人生活
我没资格奢望什么
偶尔能看得到你就心满意足

156

2009-09-27T13:33:00.001+08:00

你的溫柔如此靠近帶走我的心跳 and left me with none thereafter.

155

2009-05-17T00:00:00.004+08:00

it's sad how things just crumble over the years.. even years of building it's still weak, shaky. easily torn apart by the elements. i admit i havent been contributing to the building; always giving up without putting in maximal effort, shying away from contact, not taking the initiative, not being able to reflect truthfully on the situation and doing what should be done.

if only life could start over again..

i hope it's not too late to make amendments now.

if you have a need, GIVE..
whatever you GIVE, God replenishes.

150

2009-03-09T13:35:00.004+08:00

oh man i miss KL. =( seriously hate the post-trip syndromes. the kind of longing to go back and never wanting to come back.

this trip has seriously opened my eyes. expected KL to be very like singapore in terms of infrastructure and stuff but it wasn't. the last time i went to kl was eons ago so couldn't really remember much. visited kl general hosp.. thought it would be like any hosp in sg but it isn't. not that it's backward but the facilities and amenities are just not what i've expected. went to sau seng lam community rehab it was WOAH. cool the area is super big and it's very well-renovated on the inside. the centre has a lot of potential for development to provide more diversified services but it's so severely understaffed that they have to shut down services like the elderly day care just because they don't have people to manage it. what a pity.. i seriously hope there's a chance to go over during year 3 for a block placement there. think it'll be quite cool can get to learn a lot.

went on a school tour too the most memorable was the dissection labs. omg it's like the classic scene in a horror movie. saw tubs of fresh and plastinated organs classified and kept separately, saw the dissection process of cadavers, saw how they kept 3-5 cadavers in a large tank of formaldehyde.. oh my. it's quite surprising also how the school will be willing to show us all these. the previous time when we went to japan we weren't shown these during the sch tour. i havent even seen nyp's own dissection labs before.. they're kind of out of bounds. yet the msians are very open about it and not afraid to show. something we have to learn from them.

the msian students were all very friendly =) they really put in a lot of effort to make our trip possible. the planning of the study programme was good and the leisure aspects as well. we had this dinner at a restaurant on the night before we left. sang the OT soiree song as a performance for the msian students and the second time we all sang along together. =) people like chong ki and chin yuen even took effort to pei us shop at times sq and send us off on the last day.. really appreciate it!

the games day on the last day morning was fun. it was quite cool 3 unis - UKM, UiTM, KSKB plus us NYP students came together for the games =D i played netball. the girls were damn good! a lot of them are in the netball team in school i think.. they wore their tudungs (correct my spelling if im wrong) long sleeve tee and track pants i already wanted to die in my bball warmup tee and bball shorts they still can look super nice and not cui after the games. lol.

didn't have much time to shop there. the day before we arrived there was a flood up till car level the hotel where we originally should be staying had their electricity supply cut and their furniture damaged.. so the first day afetrnoon instead of shopping we were settling the hotel matters. other days were quite packed as well after the tours around the hosp the campus and the rehab centre we hadn't had much time left. plus the traffic is horrible we got caught in a jam for one of the days. oh well. if only the trip could be extended by a few more days! we could have lessons with the malaysian students or something and more shopping time!

oh and me and suanwoo went to meet kian and michelle on the last day before we left at times sq. feels nice to see them after so long =)

i love my roomie wailet the wallet she's the only one who overlooks all my flaws (eg always wanting to eat and db, not bathing in the morning) and still be my friend. HAHAHAA

i want to go back to KL =( missing everyone from the trip.

149

2008-11-22T00:19:00.003+08:00

been really long since i blogged.
it might not be appropriate for me to blog about school stuff, the curriculum, the lecturers, etc.
esp about clinicals. cannot mention placement centre and reveal clients' particulars. yup so my blog was quite dead for a while.

it's been quite a bad day for me.
a whole tsunami of negativity.
i'm still trying to swim my way out of the bleakness.

first it was xy, then it was ah ma.
anything that i do i can never appease everyone.
if i go home for dinner, hoe han and xy they all might be angry.
if i dont go help out my dad on sat and play mahjong with ah ma they all instead, my dad will get angry.

it's like running around a room of 4 walls where there're nails all around the walls. no matter where i try to lean against to rest i'll get pricked and pain sets in.

i can only stand alone in the middle of the room so that nothing will happen. so that i'm safe. so that i'm treating everyone fairly by rejecting all of them.

yet i know that's not going to solve the problem. i'm only escaping.

so i keep banging the walls, pricking myself, bleeding inside, trying to find a way out.

does anyone know?

i feel really torn. school work's increasing like crazy. and i'm not some smart alec who can cramp everything at one go. i'm a pig who needs hours and hours of sleep otherwise i'll just remain in a zombie-fied state. my body isnt as strong physically (mentally too) as before. and i know i want to be an Occupational Therapist who can truly help people, so i need a really strong foundation for my basic sciences. i need the time to revise and assimilate. yet i cant find enough time.

my dad and mom just got cheated by Hong Leong Finance of 150k. im not sure exactly what they bought but the money's gone. down the drain. if you take 4k salary/month x 12 mnths + 6 mnths bonus THAT IS MORE THAN ONE YEAR'S WORTH OF HARD WORK. my dad's been really emo and i can't help him at all. as the eldest i feel i've got the responsibilty to help shoulder his burden. but i can't. i feel really useless sometimes. so i find stuff to compensate. my shop. i spend a lot of time trying to get business so that i can pay for my textbooks my notes my own expenses and hopefully a bit of household stuff here and there toiletries eg. but there's always hardly enough.

i'm drained.

i try to be patient and understanding to my friends. finding excuses for them when i'm really pissed with something that they did so that i can convince myself to forgive them. i try to be nice i try to take initiative i try to show concern i try, i really try.

yet i normally cant contain such stress in within me and i explode. usually on hoehan. i really feel damn bad but i just can't help it. and he'll always be there, making the allowances and sacrifices that are demanding on him. he has his own share of problems as well and i'm adding onto them. i really feel very lousy about myself.

and i dont know how to correct these problems.

---

after that day, i realise how blessed i am. and how judgemental i've been.

there're people who survive day by day without spare money. survive on handouts for RCs, CDCs, the govt. survive on kindness; what others give. and there i am, splurging on unneccessary snacks, dining out, buying clothes that i dont wear and dont need.

when the dad brought his 2 twin daughters who had cerebral palsy out to town, people stare at him. like his daughters are exhibits and like 'what is that man doing with those weirdos' kind of look. although judging someone is unavoidable (becos that's how our brain works) we should try to minimise it. no one's perfect. everyone has flaws, but they have assets too.

The Lord looks at the heart, and not at what Man sees.

why can't Man do that as well? it's not only applicable to disability but to people in general as well.

something we all need to work on.

147

2008-06-13T22:38:00.004+08:00

i can name a thousand and one bad points that i have and rack my brain and squeeze all my brain juice out and not find one good point about myself.

inconsiderate.
not thoughtful enough.
TOTALLY TACTLESS when talking to people.
so much so i feel like killing myself after those horrible words come out from my mouth.

i feel like a tactless piece of shit. i keep saying the wrong stuff to people these days. and i haven't been really nice to everyone.

in short i feel like a lousy piece of shit.

--

anyway dr uma told us about childbirth and stuff the other day. we were doing on the pelvic bone so yup she digressed a bit (quite a lot actually) to tell us about the process of childbirth and stuff. she told us about this student from ot as well whom she used to have and the student was pregnant. she at first wanted to keep the baby. was ready to meet his parents and get registered. dr uma all along was discouraging her to do so since she was ONLY 18 at that time. and the guy is some stupid NS man. so yup but she still went ahead and her mom and her decided to meet his mom and him.

the first thing his mom said:

"how sure are you that my son did it? you could have been sleeping around for all i know"

said it so blatantly in front of her mom's face. damn insulting. after tt she wrote a cheque and asked her to abort the kid. THE GUY SAID NOTHING THROUGHOUT. HID AND COWERED BEHIND HIS MOM. the girl's mom took it to spite the gu's mom. and the guy and the girl broke up after that. she did go for the abortion but the guy was there with her on that day (i dun know why) dr uma kinda reprimanded him on the phone when she passed her phone to him. dr uma said:

"you believe that it takes 2 hands to clap right?"

guy: -silence-

"in time to come, when you meet another girl and she tells you that she had an abortion before, would you be able to accept and marry her?"

guy: -silence-

fking bastard.

human relationships are so superficial and fragile.

--

146

2008-06-08T21:39:00.006+08:00

pictures! (:

happy birthday ber! (: took in cafe cartel today. havent seen shufen in ages!

- leng, fen, ber, me and qi

uniform day :DD

i realised im the only idiot who smiled in the third last photo when everyone's supposed to have a stern face. -.- not everyone wore uniform though the guys a lot of them cant fit in their uniforms anymore. lol. only leo from o1 wore his nyjc uniform. hahaa. and tricia in the last photo was caught in the act trying desperately to finish her yong tau foo after we took all the class photos. LOLOL.

emo-ing before sociology test.. lol.

shhh.. hear anything? =x

this photo is damn funny. LOL. we were trying to hear each other's sounds of air wheezing through our lungs during physiology prac. but cos you have to breathe hard for the person behind you to hear the wheezing sounds end up i only heard my own breathing -.-

beloved creativity group! after finishing out presentation.

me the tv presenter with syams the SUPERvisor sneaking up behind me. lol.

qi lin the ah ma!! lol she's a NATURAL at acting as an ah ma. xueyi went specially to borrow trishaw pants and clogs from her grandma. and she even brought talcum powder! LOL. look below -

zhengyi, xueyi and qilin :D

LOL the 3 AH MA NATURALS. LOL the way they acted is damn funny. everyone hid under the table first before coming out after me (the tv presenter) said my part. shu hui was helping xueyi who was already acting feeble and with trembling hands from behind the table. LOL like no one can see their acting behind the table they still totally into their role. LOLOL me and xiaoyuan TOTALLY ROFL.

pirate of the caring being (:

me the makeup artist. drew justyn's eyeliner for him! hahaa.

random creative therapy lesson pic. justyn's playing with my group's toy gun. lol.

crazee peeps after soiree :DD

damn nice right! ((: we were desperately trying to keep the lights on at the same time esp beaver's one which kept cui-ing veh fast and at the wrong time. LOL.

my phone, xiao yuan's, elisabeth's and beaver's (sylvia =x)

the only 6 year 1s who went for AGM. since i was the class rep felt responsible to go and xiaoyuan sam lis beaver and justyn pei-ed me. end up i was the only class rep there T.T felt damn toot. lol.

there're more pics actually but im too lazee to upload them. blogger's quite slow =/photo credits alot of them are to sam! (:

loving poly life (((:

145

2008-05-22T18:50:00.004+08:00

Feeling the isolation already.
Not that it wasn't present in the first place; I just sort of repressed it.

I knew the situation would turn out like this.
Yes, drifting away. Or maybe, drifted away.
I always have problems making connections with people. Friends.
I feel lousy. I want to keep my friends; yet it's either I don't take enough initiative or the other way round or the chemistry just isn't there.

I'm not those who would outwardly express my emotions. Like say how much I love my friend, hug them, make them love notes, make small little gifts and stuff. It's just not me to do stuff like this. I feel very awkward. I just get this feeling I might be overdoing things, like as if I'm begging for them to be my friend. I just have them in my heart.. and hoping they know I do.

But I think most of them don't.

I just feel damn depressed like when there's no one to hear me out. Not like problems and stuff, like listen to how I'm doing at school, at home, boring stuff like that.

Hardly anyone would hear me out.

And it's also damn depressing to see people with BFFs (for me). I don't have a BFF whom I always take pics with, have sleepovers, etc.

Pardon me. I think I sound like a spoilt child demanding for candy or something.

I have overwhelming emotions within me; I feel like crying in fact. Yet I cannot even express myself properly in this random emo post.

I totally feel like a lousy bitch who's
good at nothing.
Friendless.
Outcasted, like kian would say.

144

2008-05-09T22:38:00.004+08:00

heh finally decide to update. it's been a while. have been really busy in school.. there're like 5 projects on now. -.- so many different groups.. and there's the singapore healthcare system module that we have to group with the physiotherapy people to do together. i forgot what the topic for the project is. LOL.

school has been really hectic la. had anatomy prac that day. yes we sae the bigger half body cadaver (i think it's spelt like that) that day. cadavers are basically dead bodies. YES DEAD BODIES, real ones. they're dissected into different parts and layers for us to see the various muscles, tendons, nerves and stuff. it's not as scary.. and seniors warned the year ones about the strong smell of formaldehyde (preservative) but i didnt smell anything. LOL. ok maybe my nose is sot. hahaaa. but it was okay la. cos most of it is dissected until like see the dried up muscles.. so it isnt as scary. justyn said it looked like XIAN YA (salted duck) or KOU ROU can. damn mean.. lol. but got some can see the hand like with the skin and nails. it was scary the first time but after that okay. got to touch them as well. with gloves la of course!

dr uma my anat teacher said the cadavers are old people who died in hospitals or smth den their relatives didnt come and pick their bodies up. like from the 1980s.. so after that they were donated to various tertiary institutions for study. poor things =/ hope their spirits rest in peace.

anyway dr uma had a major firing qns sessions one by one. we've learnt like damn a lot of mucles and for everything we have to know the origin, insertion, nerve supply and action. WA LAO can just die. a lot to remember. and suay suay i tio a disctinction question which is like.. i totally stun. damn nervous. it's going to be like that for the next few weeks.. CUIIIII.

went to run and play badminton with my class today. okay actually not the whole class just 5 of us - me, xiao yuan, sam, johnathan and justyn. it was quite fun (: if only we had more time. i went to run 6 rounds today! :D took 15 mins. it was 18mins the last time i ran. my best timing was 12 mins. LOL.

oh yah and we learnt a lot of bed transfer techniques and were tested on the spot by charmaine. totally stun. i was like asking syams how to do the transfer when he lied down to be my 'client'. think i'll fail. HAHHAA. but heck. 1 mark only. GIVE to CHARMAINE (my mobility teacher). LOL. and we learnt how to manoevre wheelchairs as well! like how to move up curbs and stuff. damn scary have to totally trust your caregiver when the wheelchair moves off a curb man. and we tried doing 'wheelies' (leaning backwards balancing on 2 wheels) on the sports wheelchair. damn scary.. O.O and wheelchairs are quite hard to manovere. as in for sports. have UTMOST RESPECT for disabled athletes now. hahaa.

my dad's shop is open! at chinatown complex. going down to help him tmr. and going to take pics of the bags and putting on my blogshop to sell. hope the business will be okay.. he's been working so long hours and raking in so little. feel so sorry for him. =/ and my mom too. both of them have been coming home so late.. hai. i feel quite bad taking money from them. =/

k la gotta go. need to do psychology tutorial assignment on pain perception. -.-

143

2008-04-18T23:31:00.003+08:00

yes i'm back to updating :DD was busy with school and stuff..

school's okay so far. quite hectic though esp when i gt sabo-ed to be class rep with all the admin matters. like textbooks, notes, timetable screw ups and stuff -.- plus stuff from the shop.. veh busy la. veh weird one leh last time when i was in office i was advertising and tagging on other blogshops like crazy no orders come. when i dont advertise the orders flood in like dont know what -.- lol. and my mind was so full with stuff to study admin stuff to do that i forgot to meet this buyer today! made her wait half an hour for nothing.. damn guilty =/

actually this week's okay.. when next week starts there will be more lessons. and much more to learn.. argh. im struggling to remember all the anatomical terms. and the different bones and stuff.. samantha could memo the whole right/left side of a human skeleton. O.o thankfully i've got a bit of bio bg although i wasnt good at bio cos i slacked thru it during sec3 andc 4 =x but yea. at least i know slightly what the terms mean.. xiao yuan was whining the whole time we were studying in the library that day. yes first week and we're spending time in the library to study.. my class is damn mugger. =x lol.

talking about xiaoyuan she's sock hong's fren from pj hockey and she IS DAMN FUNNY. more retarded than suwen in certain ways. LOL =XX me and sylvia always laugh until stomach ache! like tt time she said the 'bao' joke. and the first day (orientation day) she was laughing and laughing over the cactus mineral water bottle we got free. LOL damn kuku. dont worry suwen your ultimate retard title wont be taken away by her :DDD LOL!

tmr have to go for orientation again -.- for some bonding between year 1s and 2s and also in order to join singapore association of occupational therapy. siannn. poly's orientation is nowhere compared to JJ's orientation. not even any other jc.. so sian la. hardly any cheering, the games are not that fun. orientaion fun came from laughing at xiaoyuan's stupid jokes. lol.

i kinda miss yueqi ah ma suwen they all =( and i miss playing bball with ber caixin huiwen and crystal! went back the saturday before school started. played friendly with the juniors.. and played like shit. less than half a quarter i was asking for sub already. lol. and after i went home i ached all over.. argh. i dont know whether to join bball in poly not. my schedule's very tight.. and there wont be much time for studying lo, much less training. haii. but i still want to play.. a numnber of my classmates went to join camp crusades. some christian thing.. i think at least half the class are christians from christian sec schools or jcs. and they always talk about christian stuff.. which i dun understand. lol.

my class is quite a diverse lot. only 6 pple are born in 1989. the rest 88 and older.. the oldest is this 30 year old guy called syams who was in the media industry. there's also this girl she was previously a teacher with nygh. and there're only 3 guys in my class. i think the entire lecture hall got less than 20 guys during lecture. =x

oh and i saw shenglong that day! so happy to see someone i know around sch(: he's in EE though.

anyway suwen tagged me to do this so yup! here i am doing this. qian very long liao =x

1] At what age do you wish to marry?
ASAP. LOL! about 25 la.

2] What I want the most now?
my textbooks! so tt i can start studying first and not lag behind.. and more time to sleep and pei darling as well. he's been complaining =/

3] Who is the person you trust the most?
no idea. depends la on the situation actually..

4] Do you think you have enough confidence?
nope. even after all the camps.. =/

5] If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
more money to buy clothes! running out of stuff to wear. LOL

6] Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
yup (: but it also depends on whether there's the right conditions la..

7] What are you afraid to lose the most now?
my lappy! 1.2k..

8] Do you believe in eternity love?
nope. it's been a long long time since i have lost my faith in it.

9] If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
he already knows (:

10] List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
she's a retard. a total retard. an ultimate retard :DDD

11] What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
taller than me. treat me well.. loves me.. no bad habits like smoking and esp casual sex behind my back and stuff =/

12] What feeling do you hate the most?
feeling lost in an unfamiliar place and knowing that you look damn lost. -.-
being cheated.. being just totally stressed out.

13] Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
YUP! i love my friends, though i dont outwardly show it (:

14] Do you believe in God?
in his existence only though.

15] What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
family, darling, friends, work and MONEY. HAHAHAA

16] Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
nahh.. it's not a need la.

17] At this point of time, would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?
try something new. my life's boring.. lol.

18] What kind of friend you hope to be in your friend's eyes?
reliable, trustworthy, able to share woes in although i may not be able to provide advice.

19] What age do you wanna die at?
50 ba. dont need live so long.. lol.

20] Who deserves to die?
rapists. murderers. totally unforgivable.
people who spread AIDS to others on purpose. just fking masturbate on yourself and die.
criminals who dont repent la. kill them all with death note =x lol.

21] Erm... Say, what question can I give. what is the colour of grass?? :DD
GREEN!!! yes i hear an unanimous uproar. LOL.

sorry for the long entry it's a week of stuff cramped into one :D

142

2008-04-07T10:49:00.002+08:00

read yq's entry about their encounter with trans. reminded me of what rapol said that day when we met up for class dinner so decided to blog (: (not really class dinner la only 7 of us =x me, saykhwee, kennie, meiqi, pp [who came the latest ahhaha], ani, ani's gf somnia [hope i didnt spell her name wrongly!] plus rapol)

anyway side track a bit first ani's gf very pretty! nice and friendly too :D and she's very sweet la.. cos ani's a vegetarian. we were at subway den the only thing he could eat was vege delight (ugh) and she pei-ed him eat the same thing although she could get herself something else leh (she's nt a vegetarian). so nice la den she was saying whenever they go out oso have to eat vegetarian.. O.O both me and pp will die. LOL. we're both carnivores.. i don't like vegetarian food. +.+

anyway back to what rapol was telling us he said the number of trans are on the rise..ever since the govt legalised it. he was from a boys' school and one of his classmates went to undergo a sex operation to change his sex. and he (or she) is now going out with this guy who doesnt know she's not a girl. omg.. and rapol was also saying he saw this grp of prettyy girls who kept staring at him oso but when they walked past him their manly voices boomed he was super disgusted. LOL.

he went back to thailand to apply for uni and in uni they still wear uniform, so there was this trans who stuffed socks as boobs. it's so obvious its socks can with the white uniform but they didnt care how ppl looked at them. and after all the sashaying if the socks fell out they didnt care as well. LOL! like omg so paiseh!

and the thing is..

there're now 3 toilets.
male, female, and trans.

OMG OMG OMG.

i'm not against trans or what in fact i think they're normal people like us. i just need time to accept an open society like this who has changed without me knowing. as in like it may be commonplace in thailand but you'll never see it in singapore. at least not in my lifetime.. but actually i think it's good that the thai govt legalises such stuff. at least the trans wont feel so oppressed and they can be themselves. they didnt get to choose their gender when they were born so it's not their fault that they turn out this way. i kinda pity them having to be the brunt of criticisms sometimes.. =/

141

2008-04-02T15:53:00.003+08:00

more pics!

yes i'm really really bored.

i love the lights! always wonder how they get this effect.. i will delibrately shake the camera sometimes to see if i can get this and yes, i have not been successful T_T lol.

so cute! (: i like the zonked out/stuck at the bottom one.

like some holy tree.. O.o

fallen angel? really cool pic.

animals! (:

i love the kitty's eyes! such a pristine blue.. as if they were crystals.

"and i would like more carrots please. AMEN"

lol caption from owner.

so cute!!! it's so fluffed up and cute and awww so cute! >w<

140

2008-04-02T15:31:00.002+08:00

pretty pics i found while surfing net in office.. =)

i like the last one the most. the colours are really nice and warm.. very 'spring' feeling (:

i love flowers :D

139

2008-03-27T15:04:00.003+08:00

and yet again, on Stomp. TODAY. 27th march. BY THE FKING SAME PERSON.

he's an asshole man. hey get a life! he's getting on my nerves. has he got nothing to do at home? no job no family no chores no nothing? cant' he find something else to do and not spy on jj? if he fking doesnt like what JJ is doing, den ask him fking get his ass off and go straight to the school to complain. hiding at home, posting on Stomp stirring up this huge controversy. FKING COWARD.

wa lau if i find out who this blardy asshole is he's gonna get it.

and yes, the usual 'wa lau (the superior) JC students leh! no wonder poly students have better IQ (like wth no) PUB trying hard to finding new water sources yet JJ wasting water NO WONDER THE GRASS IS LUSH GREEN!'

i see that i dunno whether to laugh or cry -_- synthetic grass leh! not green den wad? pink?? -_-

singaporeans are just like tt. whole day complain complain and complain. AND I CAN ASSURE YOU, even if jj replaces the water with mud people will still complain.

EH WE NEED THE MUD TO GROW THE GRASS ALONG ROADS LEH. NO MUD-NO GRASS- WILL DIE!

YES I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS MOST OF THE TIME : complain about all the what-nots - scold the party(s) involved - complain sg govt never do anything - say govt is lousy - hate singapore. -_-

it's a slippery slope, i tell you.

and i'm pissed the fking JW spy is making use of the media to launch personal attacks on JJ. and people are believing him. fking shit. cant they like open up their eyes and look at the full picture? many are so narrow-sighted they only look at the bad side of things and keep boring deeper into it and filling themselves with so much hatred.

for what?

does it fill you with joy to see a school crumble due to public pressure? if your answer to it is yes, i can only say that you're sadistic. go see a counsellor.

can't pple just fking let JJ off? we have already cut down on water lehh. what more u wan?

138

2008-03-26T14:39:00.001+08:00

OMG OMG OMG YAY!!!!
I GOT INTO NYP
OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY COURSE :DD

YAY I'M NOT SCHOOL-ESS ANYMORE!! ;DD

137

2008-03-26T10:55:00.002+08:00

48 words

ahh sob my typing speed is slow =(

300 characters per min, 48 correct words 3 wrong words -.-

136

2008-03-25T11:26:00.005+08:00

half-day! (: eyes hurting like mad tts y =/cos of my contacts. damn irritating. i wonder when my new ones will come.. went to lot 1 to peng jerome's chang cos he's on attachment there. but end up he only did the questioning and stuff the testing of eyes was done by the senior optician. lol. it was the first time my eyes get tested so thoroughly. realli! like the guy kept turning the magnifying glass lookalike thing and asked 'like tt better, or like tt better?' made me real dizzy after that =.< hahaa.

planning to nua at home later and rest my eyes. damn tired woke up at 5 to pia to school before work to get recommendation letter from ms eleen tan for darling for his scholarship. it took me 2 and a half hours to get to school den to work.. argh. morning traffic. zz.

anyway went to jp to watch The Leap Years with Suanwoo on Sunday it wasn't as nice as i think it'd be. but it wasnt as bad as the magazines said either.. just average. the whole story itself is quite touching but i think the movie was kinda rushed. every scene was kinda rushing to the end so it wont be a really long movie. failed to feel the special connection between Jeremy and Li-Ann totally. =/ but anyway the story would never happen. at least in Singapore. in our society which is so fast-paced who would wait 12 years for a man you love? a man whom you've only seen 4 times and hardly know. i may sound practical but hey, snap back to reality can. i won't waste my youth waiting for the blue blurry figure (if you watch the show you'll know what im trying to say) =x but overall the show was okay.. the love letter was touching. i think i'd go borrow the book.. the movie might have missed out a lot of parts of the story. (:

another hour to go :DDD

by the way dont ask me about my results. it sucked and cant get me a place anywhere i think. i'm hoping against hope and against the intense varsity squeeze that some institution will take me in. otherwise i'm as good as finished. T.T

135

2008-03-06T10:17:00.002+08:00

shyt man. tmr's the day. D-DAY. DOOMSDAY.
i am so going to die tmr.
i had a dream this morning. i dreamt i had 2As.. den when i was about to reveal the grade for the third subject then this voice said

EH STOP DREAMING.

shyt. my results slip become C D E.
now whenenver i close my eyes i see the CDE results slip.
hopefully when i open my eyes tmr it won't be the C D E i'm seeing.
(i'm hoping for something better, of cos!)

134

2008-02-27T17:22:00.003+08:00

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?commentPageNo=1&id=15132#comment

saw this on suwen's blog. i'm damn pissed now. the person who reported this is damn s ok. kaypo ****. the person said we KEEP wasting water during our many camps (eg orientation) in school.

which camp doesn't make use of water for games? or rather which school doesn't make use of water for orientation games? what people see are just us spraying water from hoses. they don't see the fact that we actually reuse the water.

- we use the water in the pools we've constructed to clean up after the games.
- we collect water overnight if it rains.
- we use the dirty water for water bombs.
and we're all rationed water to use to clean up ourselves. we have tried to recycle the water we use as much as possible.

i mean if you don't know the entire situation just shut up. people are just jumping to conclusions and insisting that i twist facts when i'm not. zz.

nw there's this guy who's complaining about the guys crawling under the girls' legs. which is not true can! the game (think it's telematch) is to slide across on the canvas below the table just so happens there's a girl sitting on the table (might be a games attach) who's ready to throw the water bomb at the guy. the guy is not crawling under the girl's leg! the person who posted a comment on this said oh so this is wad JJ calls character building. i feel like slapping him.

and there's another guy who said 'you mean you all clean up the school? don't make me laugh' that one i really cannot take it. isn't it the right thing to do? to clear up the mess you madE? no matter where you go - school, office, home - you have to clear up the mess you created. wad is so laughable about this? have you got no manners? did your parents not teach you about responsibilty?

i saw other untruths on the page. people making personal attacks on me when all i said were the truth. i swear the only sarcastic remark i made was about the person who said to have physical training under the rain since we loved playing with water. and so i told him, yes we do have pts under the rain esp soccer, rugby and bball team and asked him to watch since he's so free to complain and whine.

i'm not angry at people making attacks at me. i can forget about people passing negative remarks. the thing is they don't need to make such a big fuss about it. esp when they do not, i repeat, they do not understand how the school camps system is like. and for some of the camps the organising committee wanted it to be held in our school (like Line Camp), it is not our choice. why must people report to the relevant authorities? if you think i'm scared of what the verdict will be like, let me assure you i'm not. why should i be? i know the usage of water is justified. so quit trying to make callous remarks.

133

2008-02-27T16:38:00.002+08:00

i'm back! :D

ok i know it's been ages and my blog's rotting =x but im so bored at work that im blogging again. my 2 supervisors - one full day leave, one half day leave - are not around i've got nothing to do. have been slacking surfing the net since after lunch.. hahaa. time is passing so slowly can. wa lauuu.

anyway i changed the layout to be like my blogshop's =x i like the skin la, simple and nice :D and the music too. it's 'river flows in you' by yiruma, this korean piano composer. i went on yahoo answers to ask someone gave me this weird answer 'cut' by plumb O.o

talking about yahoo answers, there was this pevertic guy from saudi arabia who wanted to bring his 9 year old wife to US and he posted a question asking if it might involve any legal issues. YUCKS CAN! wah lao he's 35 yrs old la. the girl's 9.. young enough to be his daughter! i really don't want to sound offensive but has anyone thought of the girl's feelings? getting married at 9?! and you'll never know what the guy did to her.. arGH. the thought of it just disgusts me. pity the girl.

i'm dreading the end of feb.. i don't want to know how i did for As. hoehan's bunk mate's mom is in MOE she said they're releasing results late cos everyone did very badly and they had to do re-moderation. i hope it's advantageous to pple like me.. =x my colleague from vj who takes h3 chem and is those super hardworking type is worried she won't do well -.- *slap her =x

i am still bored. it's not even 5pm! mim told me to surf www.i-am-bored.com to kill time -.-

132

2007-07-31T23:24:00.000+08:00

i'm a happy girl :)))

thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes! including yueqi ah ma ber (present exco =x) ray the noob for pei-ing the exco to buy presents for me :D hoehan :) jiamin suwen huiying serleng michelle ben.w leonard zhiming jacinda bryan junwen chen kai alvin nathaniel yuanping banhao melisa alford jingkai zhiwen junhao zixuan nic.t nic.s huanmin!:) zhipeng xiangyu timothy anna yongsheng jonathan yujie weilong t1 peeps: zhenyang sidney dot anqi jerome mavis minqi jinpei expo peeps: wanling jac alvin team jj: hei ren aka eileen jalaine hsinming crystal caixin!:) og19 peeps: shenglong chork! :) wanxian syafiq og 20 peeps: brian patrick junxian euodia kelly S22 peeps: mawcherng weijie seng lien xiaonaodai aka huiyin =x da jie aka huiyu and how can i forget my S24:)

lazee to take pix of my presents. =x hee. i love them all! heh.

i'm a happy happy girl :) *jumps around* =x

131

2007-07-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

had a really sweet surprise today. was at raffles city queueing to buy donuts from donut factory.. when he came and gave me a whole box of it :DD no wonder he's been discouraging me from going to buy donuts. lol. so so so sweet of him can! and meiqi they all baka with him and kept the surprise form me la.. hahaa. it was such a pleasant surprise.. still feeling all sweet and blissful inside now :D

should have taken the pic before i ate the double choc donut. it's really nice.. as in the choc melts in your mouth and the taste of it is really really good :D queued for 2 and a half hours with peishan meiqi elaine saykhwee suanwoo and serene but it didnt feel that long. hee. we spent more than half an hour waiting at the counter alone la.. damn dumb. but the donuts are really nice. hahaa. bought half a dozen only. the rest bought at least a dozen. lol.

kinda wasted one whole day today. argh. was planning to study chem today.. i havent been keeping to the schedule that i came up with. die la. and wadever i study cannot be retained in my puny brain. damn frustrating now. and i'm super panicky about the small lecture tests that are coming up.. if i cant even do well for tests it'll be damn demoralising la. like that i might as well give up on major exams like prelims. argghh. help help help >.<

130

2007-07-01T11:28:00.000+08:00

went for national stadium's closing ceremony ytd. damn cool. was working in the vip lounge. not the exact one for ministers mine was supposed to be for serving the australians. but in the end alot of singaporeans jus came in to eat -.- lol. ytd's event was super slack. most of the time we were there watching the soccer match =x lol. sg vs aus. sg lost 3 nil la. it's quite humiliating actually national stadium's closing with singapore losing the last match >.- but it's undeniable that the aussies were better. oh yah the fireworks at the closing ceremony was damn nice lah! didnt have my fone with me so couldnt take pix. =( when we saw the fireworks all of us jus abandon our job and watched the fireworks instead. lol. it's damn kuku lar a whole line of purple sage staff squatting down just to watch or take pic of the fireworks. hahaa.

den after the match was the lights out party. seriously it was weird. instead of pple dancing there were kids playing soccer on the field, pple racing each other arnd the track and big families sitting on the field macham having picnic. LOL. and the poor live band was like having a hard time bringing up the atmosphere. but the lighting and stuffs were nice la.

cant really see anything from the pic. my fone's camera's too lousy. rahhh. we were sitted at the vip area drinking tiger beer while resting our tired feet. lol. had free flow of it =x

we were stranded at kallang after tt lar -.- no train no cab no bus. wa lau. and the worse thing is we called the 3 taxi companies simultaneously no one attended to us lo. the place we were standing had at least 3 other pple waiting for cab. zz. we were so desperate ah ma had to ask his dad find his taxi frens who're arnd the area to come fetch us. zz. but in the end we got a cab la. 30 bucks. rahhh 10 bucks of my pay's gone T.T

129

2007-06-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

there's a war raging at home. arghh.

my dad brought my grandfather over to stay. cos my grandmother and uncle complained that they couldnt take care of him by themselves. and my damned aunts and uncles refused to take any responsibilty. all they can do is to push everything to my dad. they didnt even offer financial help can. it's damn ironic la they are all fking rich and my dad's like outta job now and he's the one paying all the medical bills. wth. and my mom's damn pissed la. she has to pay for another person's expenses and put up with all the crap cos my grandfather's immobile and he has to do all his business in the room and everyday she has to empty his stuff = but she's damn mean la.. if it's her father she wouldnt be saying such stuffs. and she's kbing my father like mad.. everyday sure must quarrel. and after that they take it out on me and my sis.

for the past yr ever since my dad was retrenched everyday they quarrel over trivial things like dinner or housework. most of the time it's abt money. den now this. the longest period of peace was a week. sometimes i just feel like walking out the house and never come back. the worst thing is i cant do anything to change the situation! argh. i hate to feel so helpless la.

and i used to think that only unfillial pple would send their parents to old folk homes.. now i realise there are other reasons. how naive i had been. my dad was saying me and my sis would throw him into one sooner or later cos we wd have our own families by then. zz.

exams sucked. screwed everything up like mad. even though i spent a lot of time cramming. feel so useless la.. like cant even do well in studies. i cant seem to do well in anything anway.

...and they're still quarreling. arghhhhhhh. i need a refugee camp!

128

2007-06-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

im so going to die. 34 - 3 today 31 topics left to finish within 4 and a half days. how's that possible?! 8 topics per day lehh. omg. and the worse thing is i dun feel stressed at all =x lol. dunno why.. cant seem to gear myself up for the exams. everyone arnd me's mugging their guts out and im still here slacking. rahh. so gonna die man. argh.

and finally working for purple sage on fri! haa. not that i like to work there a lot lar.. just that i need the money. haven paid my hp bill for the previous mnth. just saw on tv purple sage's featured in cai jing zhui ji lar.. damn cool. lol.

127

2007-06-07T20:39:00.001+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here take my test!! :)))

126

2007-05-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

sports meet was fun! bannister got best house for girls and first time for best cheering house :] we got a second overall but all of us were damn happy liao. hahaa. was quite pissed with the tug of war thing at first but after that i just hecked it =x lol. anyway we got second for it ma. zm was still harping on the event even after the meet was over -.- was also quite disappointed the plastic banner thingy didnt work. thanks to the trees outside. and the poor plastic got trapped like dunno wad. hahaa. had fun screaming like siao cheering for everyone we know. and jumped like mad when we got first for fartlek. all 20 of us on the field jumping. lol. if it hadnt been for ben the j1s suanwoo juncheng and many others the event wouldnt have been such a success :] esp ben! you did a great joB. cheers :D

eye candy :))

125

2007-05-05T20:14:00.000+08:00

we got into the second round :) but we're meeting hci and rj. DAMN SUAY. ms leo was like tellign us before that that the worst lot we can get is the both of them. and ta-da we got the both of them -.- wth.

won srjc 49-26 ytd. everyone played very well.. except for me. i didnt even score a point for the time on court. i think tt was at least 10 mins. zz. wasted 4or 5 chances. argh. didnt noe wad i was doing. jurong sec coach said to me after tt tt 1 or 2 matches ago i played very well. meaning that i didnt play well in this match lo. and kianhao kenniy wenwei they all said some stuffs which i didnt hear. and am glad i didnt hear. and i thot kenniy was being nice.. out of their clan i think kenniy's the nicest guy there la. and bernard. den dunno who said kenniy said smth very hurting. argh. why are guys all like tt. i thot han kyaw was nice too. until tt day he and anirudh said something very mean. why cant guys just be their nice self always. arghh.

there's seriously smth wrong with me. my whole body keeps tremblign for dunno wad reason. esp apparent in my hands. even when i hold a mug the whole mug will shake like mad. i want to think it's just fatigue that's causing it. but i read on the net fatigue and stress causes onli hand tremor. but in my case my whole body's trembling. thankfully its not my head or tongue which is supposed to be more serious. argh. it's been going on for a long time already.. hope its goes away soon.

it's already may.. omg. damn panicky about As. arghhh.

124

2007-04-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

have the sudden urge to blog again.

today's the first time i didnt get to play in tournament.. ms leo didnt sub me in. i'm upset.. yet at the same time i know if im the one playing on court i wouldnt be of much use to the team la. my skills stamina and other stuffs all veh lousy. thinking back i really wasted my time playign bball outside in the past. i had all the wrong bball concepts la. even rebounding which i was most confident of was wrong -.- i jus realised recently block out is to block out the man first; i always thought it was all about getting the ball. zz.

we won nj.. 25-20. it was lousy la. considering tt nj was made up of mainly netballers who didnt have bball basics to back them up. but their fighting spirit was like.. O.O they had the hunger for the ball. on our side it was fear and a lack of confidence.. there were a lot of mispasses. no block outs. no defence structure. and etc. same old mistakes over and over again. everyone was disappointed with us. esp ms leo. arghh. she put in so much effort end up we cant play well =

watched yan ming they all play today. and isaac. they play damn well la. saw a lot of bpians at sbc today.. but a lot dun recognise me anymore. suddenly feel so detached from bp =

123

2007-02-02T20:59:00.000+08:00

had a veh veh veh bad day. met this sex maniac at my blk's lift today. wth. i was being nice to open up the lift door for him den in the end went in he dished out this packet of condoms and asked whether i wan to have sex with him. wa lau. den he kp inching towards me. i screamed at him and he kinda backed off. and the most irritating thing is he keep scanning me with those damned eyes of his. RAHHH. i think he was kinda intimidated by my size oso so he didnt do anything to me.. he's veh small sized. thankfully im bigger than him. god noes wad he will do to me in the lift if i wasnt = den whn we reached 6th floor i thot he will back off but instead he went 'eh how about doing it here? it's a good spot' or smth like that. i screamed at him and attempted to walk away.. but wth he chased after me lar! i was totally freaked out la i ran down to the first floor again. i didnt dare to go home at first cos i thot there wasnt anyone at home.. thankfully when i called my dad when i reached downstairs he was at hm and i told him to come pick me up.. THANK GOD LAR. whn my dad reached the lobby i saw the blardy fucker walk away from the opp direction. by the time i was sobbing like dunno wad i didnt have the energy to run after and hurl wadever insults at him.

damn freaked out lar. wanted to file police report cos i think he will attack other girls.. but in the end i didnt cos the nearest polic post to my house is at admiralty. when i reached back sch i cant rem the person's face anymore.. wth. i was still shaking when i reached school lar. thankfully there was caixin suhaila hsinming they all to comfort me. super super suay. zz. if i ever see that guy again im gonna kick his balls until he die of the pain. blardy hell.

now at peishan's hse making jellies.. tonning over. hopefully our class stall sales will be ok.. and hope the 3 on 3 bball comp im organising will have a lot of pple coming oso. otherwise we'll end up having to fork out money instead.. >.<

122

2007-01-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

decided to make my blog public again. hahaa. i noe im fickle minded. but bldy hell someone else took the previous blog address away. zz.

stayed back to watch the love fiesta auditions today. only got a few contestants though.. like4? or 5. dunno they kicking out who -.- lol. but they were all veh good lar. esp jinghui's band! i didnt noe he can sing so well lar.. and that sean can play the keyboard. i still find it amazing that i found him in jj. he was in the same pri sch/class with me until p4 before he transferred out. and i didnt noe he landed up in clementi town den jj. ya qing oso. somemore ya qign same class as me in p2 and i didnt noe =.= the world is damn small man. hahaa. oh yah den jinghui sang until veh nice lar. its a self written song somemore.. gonna bug siew mun to send me the song =x hahaa. yang ce and this guy oso performed. i think they veh nervous. their voices like detached from each other O.o but yang ce seriously sing veh well. her voice damn nice lo. oh yah den whn it was evan's turn me junting ber ah ma lihui and a lot others we went in front to support her cos she was damn scared. junting actually wanted all of us to go on stage with her lar. lol. evan sang veh well too :)

finally met up with anna man. like aft so long. she cabbed down to jj to find us =x hahaa.

hope benson gets well soon. that poor thing landed up in the hospital becos of some knee infection. =
gotta go rush my essay. zz got too much stuffs undone. den everyday's like packed with activities somemore.. need more time to do my work.. and start rethinking stuffs. zz.

118

2007-01-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

orientation turned out to be better than i've expected :)

many many thanks to OG20, edmund junting aishah and uncle zheng xiang =D must take care of urself worr. esp the edmund cos he lost his voice liao still cont shouting and leading the campers. i respect you man. i dont think i'd have put in half as much effort as you did if my throat hurt like hell. junting thanks for always providing us with crappy humour and livening up the atmosphere. og time would have been more sian if not for your entertainment. and thank you thank you thank you for the times u carried my bag, lent me ur umbrella and accompanying me to the command centre when my knees hurt. you're such a sweet fren :) aishah thanks for always taking care of our og's girls when i go for games attach stuffs. and thanks for engaging the girls so well :) and of course not to forget UNCLE ^^ thanks for all of that valuable guidance stories and letting us tease you as well. hee.

special thanks to junxian hui lu shiting and shi hui. junxian and hui lu for being the 'voices' of our og and shiting and shihui for volunteering to be the love fiesta thing ic and asst ic :) terribly sorry for not spendin quality time with og 20 =

was the first to kickstart e-web today den i think it kinda failed. cos the mood's like supposed to be super serious but in the end we laughed more than anyone cried. only aishah cried today cos her og mates came to find her last night during jj night. reminds me of wad happened during o2 orientation.. S22 when lien and the rest came back to find us.. how we sat around and missed the times together as a class during 1st 3 mnths and cried like mad knowing that we wont be a class anymore and all the fun and laughter will just turn to memories and be chucked at the back of our minds. suddenly miss them loads :(

games attach was fun! although i failed as station master.. just didnt have the power to control the crowd. esp afternoon games when 6ogs = 120++ pple came at one go. and my giving of instructions sucked. -.- still get nervous addressing crowds.. zz. jus dun have the confidence ba = the playing part was fun =D got like the flour and fruits and soap. lol. ah ma and ber smeared flour all over my shirt face and hair early in the morning at the start of telematch -.- den afternoon kinetic warfare chianlim did the exact same thing. ahhhhh. hahaa. lawrence was damn jian. he like always catch me off guard when he burst the water bombs. like when i open my mouth -.- i drank down some water lar! wth -.- the water somemore is take from swimming pool. overnight water with leaves and dirt and synthetic mud and pple's washing-feet-water! damn suay. got a whistle as games attach gift =D so nice of games comm peeps :)

jj night was ok. f1/f4 performance cocked up -.- poor coordination lar = sian. danced with jiajun this camper from f6 og 30 whom i knew during kinetic warfare at my station earlier that day. lol. og 30 those sports attach pple super high lar. so fun lore. asked benson to ask junkang to come cos ber wanted to like see who that junkang shuai ge was. haha. in the end junkang pang seh-ed and jasper came instead. ber totally sian-ed. LOL. and they bought me supper from outside after that. heh thanks worr :] and BIG BIG THANKS to yueqi suwen and jiamin for making me and ber honey water! the honey water tasted esp sweet :))))) wan xian too! thanks for your liang cha :_D veh veh touched. i love you girls ^^

cried at the ending part today. im totally touched by the councillors.. all that they've put in. ogls compared to them we're like nothing can. the time and effort and the amount of sacrifices they've made have are definitely much more than ours. and yet they get nothing in return.. without them the camp wouldnt have been as successful. as would be for other camps. and school events and so on and so forth. the school would have been nothing without the councillors' effort man.. THANK YOU COUNCILLORS. you guys rawk :D

i think i better stop here. damn tired. brain malfunctioning den cant think of anythign else liao. 2 days sleep 3 hours onli. ytd night was so damn tired that i slept while writing ryan's card. and i wrote down wadever was in my dream -.- wth. den aishah was like 'wat u writing O.O' lol. damn stupid lar. i totally ruined ryan's card. sorry sorry >.<

117

2006-12-31T20:00:00.000+08:00

feeling kinda sick now. like new year's eve den fall ill -.- wth. poor ber oso ill :( all thanks to OGL camp lar.

seriously the camp this time round wasnt fun lar =/ games attach stuffs was ok.. got the old people around so not that bad. but got a few NOBLE GASES arnd that dun wan mix -.- not that we didnt include them lore. and the spirit wasnt as high as before. i cant help but compare with the previous experience lar. mr leow said that 02 orientation is always more difficult than 01's. but i've got a feeling im gonna struggle in 01 now. everyone always fall back to their cliques in the family.. some pple dun have write attire.. come late for camp and meetings.. best still some dont bother to turn up w/o valid reason. blah blah blah. under j2 counc aka natteporn's reign who dare do such stuffs lore. never tuck in shirt tio scolding. come for meeting oso must come 15 mins earlier. reach on time considered late sometimes. im not saying its the counc's fault.. they're just being nice but they get stepped all over instead =\ hope 01 will turn out alright. kelly's in my og! damn coincidental lar. she's my fren from purple sage. thot her bdae might land her in f5 but end up in my the last og of f4 instead =D

went to watch fiba asia women's bball comp after camp although i was damn tired. didnt want to pang seh su. china won. sian lar both japan and korea lost only 2 points lore. japan lost it at the second last second somemore. zz. japan no.12 yoshida's my ou xiang! she got top scorer and mvp for the competition worr. damn zai lar. although she was injured she still played to her best. can see that she put in the most effort and wanted to win the most. if she wasnt injured and could have played better right i dun think japan would have lost =

yoshida's in front. second from left.

went to shop a bit with zm today. bought a bag =D and zm like got dunno how shirts and pants. crazy lar we spent 200 bucks in 77th street alone. hahaa. den after that went back to cwp to get the shoelaces. 128 pairs -.- f2f5 giving shoelace to each of the campers tt's why need so many. it was 288 bucks lar. wth damn ex. and i got the priviledge card for power9 -.- LOL dun be jealous ah ma. u can keep that filmsy piece of stamp-collecting card =P hahaa.

went to watch death note 2 ytd. i think not bad leh. how come so many pple say not nice =x although the centre part a bit hard to digest for me cos it got too complicated as the plot intertwined. but after the twist everything falls in place nicely ahh. not bad la =D went to walk ard with ber while waiting for benson. den ah ma came to find us and whine about how kbox scammed his money =x hahaa. after benson came we went to play pool lore. so sweet of him to pass me honey water lozenges my sassy girl and windstruck's vcd :)

oh yah 25th anniversary was fun lar =x although we were only helping out with stuffs. starting the ushering part was ultra sian -.- me and johnson had to stand at the alumni table to ask the people they come in to register or smth. bt end up is only go check table number -.- den the teachers keep asking us to usher the j2s into the ballroom cos the GOH's coming. but most of them wanted to take pix and stuffs like that so they didnt budge. some even said we're irritating T.T cos we had to hold this bell and ring it -_____- zz. aft the whole ushering thing me and serleng's class peeps we started playing blackjack. den xianghong came up with this forfeit of asking us to go get the bears at the table tt're meant for the seniors. in the end we took like 10 over until like half of the table was empty O.O and eric tio forfeit den have to put back all the bears amidst all the j2s who've escaped outta the ballroom to take pix. LOL. after that went to watch the performances. mutton balls' dance RAWKED man. damn nice! gino danced damn well as usual :D we went to sit at the counc table after that to eat the rest of the food =x and cheer for garden of eve and prom king/kok mun and prom queen/shih wen. like the whole ballroom only our table veh high. lol. the rest all stoning and bz with something else. so mean lar the performers all rehearsed so hard and put in so much time and effort and ppl dun even applaude for them. wth -.-

3 and a half hours to 2007. happy new year in advance =D

116

2006-12-23T16:08:00.000+08:00

ponned dry run ytd using training as excuse =x hahaa. didnt want to do the same stuffs over and over again lar. there wasnt even training ytd lar. kind of. it was raining.. and only got the 4 of us. zz. the sports attach pple all still not coming in yet.. veh diff to train. even su and caixin's fren jasmine not coming from SA liao cos she sadi ms leo cant help her. but ms leo was like WHO CARES ABOUT HER o.o her attitude kinda scary sometimes.

i got into og 20 this time. overshot by 1 from og 19 -.- im with junting edmund and aishah. at first i was still worrying about aishah cos ive never seen her before and i scared she might one of the dropouts =x but she isnt. and she's quite nice.. i talked to her on the phone today about the calling of campers. im freaking irritated with zhou ren = he said he'll give out the contact lists of the campers to the OGLs ytd. in the end he didnt. he didnt even photocopy them. -.- ive to cui him to photostat ytd lar. and like this is the last time we're meeting before the camp lo.. after the camp not much time to call the campers oso.. maybe im jus too gan chiong lar.

went to watch fiba asian women's comp that day. watched china vs thailand and japan vs india. so far the strongest team i heard is japan. the 4 best teams are japan korea china and taiwan. the 2 matches i watched that day are all one-sided =\ china thrashed the thais 92-39 i think. japan totally tocked the indians can. 112-29. after halftime the indians anyhow play liao lore -.- like the controller jus throw ball from halfcourt. dunno wad she doing. unlike the thais. at least they perservered till the end. that's basic respect to the game and ur opponents lo. and wan lose oso dont lose until so nan kan ma. -.-

this is the japan vs india match. one of the clearest pix i have. blame it on my phone. lousy camera T.T

i cant recognise some of the flags =x hahaa.

gonna go watch the finals after ogl camp. hahaa. sure end up sleeping at simei ite instead =x

115

2006-12-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

just watched this documentary about north korea. feeling damn upset now. there are like 200 000 starving kids at this town ALONE. and the damned govt isnt doing anything about it. they even force children to stay in 'hostels' that dun provide food and medical care. the lives of the commonfolk there are like worthless there lar. and the most frustrating thing is that i cant do anything about it to change the situation. not even the spore govt can do anything. pple are practically born and left there to die of starvation. those who're desperate turn to cannibalism.. WAD THE HELL IS KIM JONG IL DOING? and to think in such a modern era a hellish place like this actually exists. wad is the world coming to.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6951629397402742053&q=children+of+the+state

its a rather long video. 45 mins. interested pple can go watch ba.

114

2006-12-18T22:23:00.000+08:00

ah ma told me to post one my blog saying that his skin is very nice =x which isnt really true.

jmin got ask me to post saying that she's the best or smth some time back. cant rem. hahaa.

got this weird undescribable feeling coming over me. kinda upset now. how i wish he was...

113

2006-12-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

im not going to copy ah ma and do reflections =D im doing mirror image. LOL. after reading his blog got urge to write stuffs oso =x hee.

this year whizzed past lar. damn fast. i cant really remember much of 01 orientation actually. but i'll never forget my OGLS :] wanxian shaun nazrul and syafiq. u guys rock man =D without you peeps the orientation wouldnt have been the same. thanks for all the fun and laughter.. thanks for all the care and concern.. thanks for all the effort you've put in to make us feel at home at JJ =)

TEAM JJ :] although we didnt do well in the tournaments but i feel that we've tried our best. most of us lack exp and its one part that no matter how much training i feel it will still not make up for the edge experienced players have over us. i'll never forget the season trainings. the scoldings we had from ms leo. the 4km runs that were killers at first. the outings we had. the photos we took. the seniors. jiamin, lynette, serene, evelyn, jaslyn, liling, anna. we, us. suhaila, belinda, yueqi, sinyee, huiwen, chian, crystal, jessie, michelle. to jessie and michelle, once a part of team jj, always a part of team jj :)

den came S22! i still regret detachin myself from the girls =/ kind of. and always stickign wif bernard ah ma and rodney. but i never regretted knowing them =) and the guys as well. u guy make up the best class.. and one of the craziest as well. lol. although some of us are in diff schs now but i still hope we meet up yea? OUTINGS! yuzheng suggested bbq O.O can u imagine yuzheng organising outing. hahaaa.

02 orientation was the best part of this yr i felt. F1 is the best family u can ever get :D i still rem the times when we stayed back to do poster/banner.. the times when we went hawker to eat tog and toked loads of crap.. the southwest cdc thing etc etc. and its the first time i got to be games attach! heh. although because of that i didnt get to be close with my campers.. but nvm. you de bi you shi ma. =/

S24. wad can i say. the class isnt bonded partly because of me.. ive failed as a class rep to bond the class. everyone's in their own cliques lar. although it did get better but.. ultimately it still boils down to me. why the class isnt bonded. blame it on my unwillingness to open up to pple.

participated in loads of camps.. had 8 camps already this yr. ive learned a lot from these camps - like how they run stuffs, the values that these camps incorporate and got to know a lot of new pple - but yet at the same time ive lost a lot as well. for eg i did get to know a lot of pple, but none of them im close with. even my campers. people.. they just come and go. they whisk in and out of my life, left footprints in the sand of my heart which the wind can easily erase.

i made terrible mistakes the past yr as well. im terribly sorry that ive hurt pple i shouldnt have.

and i still dont think im on good terms with my parents. working-out-agreements in progress. the past year's been filled with arguments. and fights. physical and verbal. i've had enoughh.

the holidays have been fufilling so far. i think. worked quite a bit. but spent more than that a bit. need to start learning to save. and control my spending. =/ my work mates have been great so far =)

now to some special people: ( in no order of merit =x )

BELINDA
omg too much stuffs to say. lol. we've been through a lot together lar. in happy or sad times.. im glad to have you through my sec sch life. orientation. bball team. all the camps except the tj thing. the survey job thing. food expo. even purple sage. :) without you i'd have been twice as lost as i would have been already. hahaa. thanks for all the times.. thanks for being there for me. and im sorry to have hurt you before. but thank you for being willing to put that trust in me again =) thanks for being willing to confide in me.. thanks for all the crappy humour.. thanks for even saving a piece of brownie for me when u bake stuffs. little things like this mean a lot to me.

AH MA!
u're the longest fren i ever had. as in still existent in my life lar =x from pri sch till now.. omg =x u ALMOST always know wad im thinking only k. hahaa. thanks for being there everytime i need you. and for being such a good listener. a good advisor as well. thats y u always be the advisor for stuffs and make me I/C huh. -.- hahaa. thanks for being my atm =x always borrowing money from you. but fret not michael pay me liaos! heh. got money to return you le =D and thanks for pei-ing me home. as in till mrt =x thanks for lompang-ing me. thanks for all the little little things that you've done. and big ones too. hahaa.

YUEQI
u retard =x lol. thanks for listening to me and stuffs.. and you never fail to be a good source of entertainment. lol actually i think you're more spastic than me lar =x thanks for being there with me lar. the entire journey from sec2 till now.. =)

ZHIMING
the past 6 mnths haven been smooth sailing for us.. but we still held on :) thanks for being willing to listen to me fa lao sao, tok crappy stuffs and pei he me too =x, lending me ur shoulder, teaching me sch stuffs, being there with me in og1 :] u're always the first one to notice that im unhappy, always the first to offer comfort. thanks.. i love you :]

SUANWOO
without you i'd have died in S24. lol. you're always there when i needed you. be it through classes/camps/PW [omg -.-] a good listening ear and crapper as well =x ive got some misunderstanding towards you some time back.. but haven really got the chance to tell you why. got chance den say ba. oh yah and thanks for being so nice.. as in standing up for me and stuffs like that. i love the spastic eeyore and fishy earrings you got from yunnan =D lol.

got too many to mention actually. people like bernard suwen jiamin kian benchew peipei and huanmin =) i lazee liao =x

hoprfully it'd be a better year ahead =)

112

2006-12-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

yay yay im games attach! :))))) im not quitting ogl after all. hehs. both ah ma and ber got into games too. weeeee~~ the previous ogl meeting wasnt that bad. clara and josephine made my day :]

worked for purple sage at singapore art museum ytd. apologies to edmund =/ jenna only wanted 2 ppl for ytd's event. jie hao aka da jie was with us.. he's damn funny lar. hahaa. ber's damn traumatised by roger.. he's interested in her lar. LOL =x

went to bowl at cdans today. tt's my 3rd or 4th time going only. bowled like shit. hahaa. but nvm who cares =x saw a lot of pro pro pple there lar. O.o went back to lot 1 to slack aft 4 games. ate some stuffs before gg to play pool with ah ma while ber went off to meet val and anna. was damn tyco.. hahaa. tml gg to play pool again lar. with auntie junwen and alford. and retard yq. haven seen alford in ages =/

freaking irritated with my dad now. @$%^%!$48Gt4$#@

111

2006-12-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

went RP to watch BIG15 bball comp. only watched 2 matches though. hahaa. watched one guys match and the other one with crystal and lynette playing. they got knocked out at the 2nd round =x RP is freaking big. JJ is like less than one quarter of the entire area lar -.- they have like this multi storey carpark and a flat ground carpark -.- and they've got 2 blocks i think is for the professors to stay or smth. the sports complex is like 3 storeys high. got swimmin pool and outdoor bball courts. plus indoor one too. the library inside macham national library -.- the pool/fountain/reservoir (=x) itself is enough to tock jj like siao can. omg. ok lar im sua gu. i never imagined rp to be so damn big. and somemore it's like so near my house.. as in its jus near qihua. i didnt realise until last week. tian ah -.-

worked at this hitachi event ytd. a lot of ppl sia. new and old. as in for purple sage =x served food again. the hitachi pple macham hungry ghosts lar. got aunties like practically camped near our food shelter O.O and i only walk one small corner of the tent my yakitori chicken all gone O.O got this grp of pple jus took my plate of sushi. omg. typical singaporeans -.- although so there were still a lot of food left lar. there were 2 sushi platters.. and aft work a lot of us jus finished one entire thing =x hahaa. ber koped brownies back. jasper took the other sushi platter. benson took the rest of the food -.- LOL. wondered how he finished lar. hahaaa.

had s22 outing a few days back. kinda disappointing.. in the end onli me cc ah ma kelvin and suwen went. mr and mrs tan oso got come lar =D yanbo junren huiyin and lien got come too.. but they didnt join us for kbox cos they got stuffs on =/ nevertheless had fun =D cc aka selina is damn good at singing. his vocal range ahh.. guy and girl's part oso can sing lar. SELINA WO MEN YONG YUAN ZHI CHI NI!! lOL. suwen's hebe. ah ma's ella. together they're SHE! ^^ LOL. mrs tan's damn good at singing too. she sang hokkien songs oso la. lol. mr tan didnt sing at all -.- i helped them eat most of the nuts. and i ended up havign tummyache the next day. couldnt train -.-

training sucked =/ our attendance still suck.. its veh diff to train with so few pple. and the dsa [direct sports attach like crystal said. lol.] pple didnt come lar. there's this jasmine girl who's joining us next yr.. was previously from SA. got retained so she decided to change sch or smth. and cai lao shi said until like she'll be the one training us O.o damn insulting lar.. like outsider come train us. its not that i dun welcome her to the team.. i jus dun like that idea lar =/

yay yay kian's going back to msia but he'll be coming back to spore to study =DDDD hee.

110

2006-12-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

finally had first maths tuition after so long today. hahaa auntie junwen become more auntie-ified than ever. she damn zai lar.. got handpicked to teach at nygh. although we die oso dun wan admit that she's zai. hahaa. oh yah den ah ma said we should play mahjong with her to win back out tuition money. we even devised code lar. like touching nose means yi tong. LOL. we made junwen veh traumatised cos she's outnumbered -.- LOL.

jus saw myself on event ads jus now =x think i got in the way when the camera man was filming some big shot. was working tt day at vivo.. samsung's new flagship store jus opened. dunno wads the big deal until their CEO park sang jin had to come and grace the occassion lar O.o den got a lot of big shots in the industry came too. mediacorp artistes came too.. even CNA's newscasters la O.o wong li lin was damn dao. i was serving food den asked if she wanted some she didnt even refuse she jus looked at the food and walked away -.- piak her =x hahaa.

oh yah den before that we were workign at st james power station. at dragonfly. this pub/club. veh slack.. jus in charge of clearing plates. it would be ok if not for the people smoking in there. think it took 10 years off my life lar -.- it was a corporate event.. watch those ppl wearing office wear and stuffs dancing veh funny lar. and some ppl realli cant dance.. not as if i can dance veh well but some really dance until damn funny =x super entertaining to watch them =x lol.

me yueqi and ber in purple sage uniform =D

hopefully there're more events coming up lar. i need money T.T yuanping is super pian xin -.- i asked him to ask whether i can work at the restaurant he and yq they all are working at and he didnt. instead he helped huiwen ask -.- damn pian xin >.<

tell me im thinking too much :(

109

2006-11-22T17:32:00.000+08:00

yay just finished my asian pacific food expo job =x had so much fun the past 5 days.. even though i didnt slp well had flu and cough and everything but it was worth it :)

at first i thot it'd be a shitty job. the first day the jiao bin boss aka huanmin's uncle dao me -.- cos we didnt have pass den i had to go in ask for it and he dun bother about me =.- wad the hell. heng there was jac who helped me like get his attention and after that go redeem bernard and ber at the front door =x and she was the first to say hi to me. otherwise i'd have died from feeling so lost. hahaa.

was working for golden bridge/kelly's (sub brand i think). the brand with all the taiwanese sausages/sausages/ready-to-eat spaghetti/baked rice. i was in charge of promoting the apple cheese, cheese and garlic sausages. hahaa =x ber was with johnathan promoting the rdy to eat meals. bernard and his taiwan xiang chang. lol. a lot of aunties buy from him la! a lot as in realli a lot. lao yang xiang chi nen cao. LOL =x paired up with ruiting at first. kept koping sausages to eat. esp when im cutting. ahhaa. and since had to differentiate btw apple cheese and cheese so had to keep tasting. tt's the day i ate so many sausages in my life man. =.= i didnt eat lunch cos i was full by noon from sampling sausages. and i went back home with a sore throat. zz. now see sausages a bit pa pa =x lol. oh yah the most coincidental thing was crystal is doing the same job as us. no wonder she said she couldnt go training. =.= lol. saw camie and mary working there too. damn qiao.

aft that we like shifted jobs here and there. like diff ppl do diff stuffs. den dunno which day was selling sausages with chan yee. he's super funny la. he and his auntie actions. lol. its super funny when he say everything in bullet train mode. and he always mention ntuc =.= den ytd there was this man wearing a tshirt with all the fk blah blah blah all over his shirt. den chan yee i think he went like 'fk off' cos he was jus reading off the shirt. den the man stared at him before walking away or smth. LOL! me alvin and him laugh like crazy. den the next customers come we kpt laughing while intro-ing the products. den they all got that bewildered look. which is even funnier. LOLOL. cos wanling jac chanyee aidan shujun and huiting all live in the west side so we normally go home tog and go work tog. den dunno is which day we were complaining about customers on the train. alot of customers always jus throw the toothpicks on the freezer even when we provide them with a plastic bag on the side -.- and got some customers always frown when they test our samples and give tt very zhuai and qian bian look. den i think its becos our sales not very good so dunno who said must give it extra publicity. have lion dance. den have 5mins skit in front of the store every 2 hours. LOL. den chanyee even said create website la! www.kelly.com -.- lol. den must come up with 10rules and show the customers before they can poke our samples to eat. den he said include in the webby. so become www.kelly.com/nothrowingoftoothpicksonfreezer/nofrowning/nopokingofmorethanonesample/
and it goes on la. LOL. oh yah and got one of the days veh bz so i asked someone to cut ham samples for me cos i was doing the spaghetti samples. den in the end think too gan chiong so said wrongly -.- from qie1 become qie3. -.- from then on they qie3 all the samples. -.-

some customers are really infuriating sia. got this auntie she tasted my sausage sample and she was like 'wa lau why so nan chi' and she threw the toothpick on the freezer b4 she left. =.= damn pissed. i went to johnathan there to get more samples cos he was cutting den i was complaining and clenching my fists but the next moment turn around im smiling at the next customers again. -.= den got those kind of aunties who dress until like tai tai come and bargain with me -.- and got this ah pek ytd keep insisting 3 pkts for 4.50 when i said 7.50. cannot discount until so mych one wad. and got kids too. they come to take samples den they will poke until there's no place for them to hold the toothpicks -.- and they happily walk off with their parents without buying. =.= yao gwee~~ got one of the days. sunday i think. suddenly there was this adam lookalike dancing on the stage. omg. actually he was jus shaking to the music at the audio equipment there. den i think a lot of ppl cheered him on -.- like sarcastically until he went on stage and dance lar. OMG -.- ber said got this on whole row of guys go take pics and bow to him somemore. and the owl coffee pple cheered like siao too -.-

last day johnnathan melvin and mingxiang got sent off =/ cos they jia zua too much. as in like they went to the back door of the hall to nap. den in the end tio caught and tio sent back. before that they got fight in the kitchen oso. dunno who said it was becos of sauce or smth -.- so trivial la. zz. boss ask them go company settle pay themselves =/ melvin and mx always stuck in the kitchen so i dun really noe them. but johnathan is a nice person actually. the first few days he veh mai li de promote the spaghetti lo. and the 3rd day he was veh hardworking in cutting the samples. and he will do his best in wadever he does one. and he also told me he misses toking to his family members cos we everynight veh late den reach home. he's not a bad person but mx and mel kinda influenced him =/

ytd the last hour was damn fun la! we like lelong so tt we can sell off everything. we still left one box of garlic sausages after tt though. at first it was onli me huting and ber shouting 'lai ah lai ah si bao shi kuai' =x den aft tt we combined forces. jac whistled damn loud den all of us shout together. i think the whole hall can hear us la =x hee. den we macham giving away stuffs for free. and there was this auntie who cam early in the morning and waited till like 9 at night for discounted prices la. typical singaporean. but nvm la. effort effort =x LOl.

see all the plastic bags on the table? we were allowed to take 2 pkts of sausages and 2 pkts of rdy-to-eat meals bt of cos we took more than that la. ytd night went home like auntie sia. da bao xiao bao =x but tt's becos i bought supper and choc and huanmin gave me smth she bought from hk disneyland ^^

we took pics after work. den b4 i could take my cam run out of batt -.- forgot to charge. heng ruiting got extra batt =D

from top left to right kenny ruiting me chanyee shujun bernard aidan alvin wanling jac ber huiting crystal

thanks for the fun and laughter the past 5days. i'll never forget the times we crapped on the train and the times we go late for work to go foodcourt and eat red ruby =x hahaa. i love you guys :) plus johnathan =x hahaa.

108

2006-11-16T11:25:00.000+08:00

dead beat >.< finally finished the data entry thing. worked at casino royale preview funstion last night den damn tired. come home still must pia the data entry thing. thanks to my sis -.- she only did half the whole day. and i took 3-4 hrs to finish the other half -.- anyway being afunction-based waitress not bad. the job not veh tiring. except for the carrying tray part cos the tray realli dman big and heavy esp when its loaded with all the food. ber had a fun time washing glasses *AHEM* =x wahahaha =P su's parents fetched us to and fro the place ^^ so nice of them. hopefully got more functions coming up =x i need money T.T

PW's finally over!! YEA YEA YEA *jumps around*

107

2006-11-07T11:30:00.000+08:00

damn hurt.

sw said smth like i played bball with my ex alone or smth. to kh. he told ban. ban told yq. yq told me -.- no such thing happened lar. the only times i remember is with eric yq dey all. zm was arnd. and i saw ivan once or twice when i went to shoot hoops alone. that's all. ban and kh both say im betraying zm -.- if that's the case i cant play ball on myself outside of school isnt it. and i was onli shooting hoops. not playin match where there's close contact. they say until like i belong to zm now and must cut all contact with other guys. wtf lar. i tried clearing up but it didnt work.

i was prepared to forget about the whole damn thing abt them sayign me flirt until at night. at class bbq. dunno why the topic started again and even ben agreed. his words really pierced through my heart. and to think i thought he will understand.. i thought he would. i guess im wrong.

so now there's ban kh paul and ben agreeing im a flirt. god knows how many there are out there. suddenly i feel pple are so fake. myriad of smiling masks. parade of backstabbers and liars.

i noe kh and paul sometimes say stuffs without going through their heads. yet ban.. sometimes he'd shoot his mouth off but he knows when to stop. doesnt he? ben really killed me deep within.

damn hurt.

it's not that i purposely want to stick around with guys. it's just that i have more guy frens. and i'd treat my girl frens the same way as i would to my guy frens. but girls are always stuck in their clique. i'm always stuck outside unable to get in. their doors are already bolted. and wad exactly is deemed as flirtatious behaviour? to wad extent is flirtatious, flirtatious? there's no definite scale.. things like this are subjective isnt it. i just cant understand why they're passing a verdict on me, fitting me into a mould like "there, this is how a girl with a bf should tok eat slp like". they should well remote control me or smth.

i hate being accused. yet i wan to jus forget about this whole thing and get on with them like nothing has ever happened. i noe i cant. i forgive, but i'll never forget. and till when should i continue to tolerate the pain? would they even know im in pain? i really treat them as friends.. yet this is wad they say of me.

i hope i die of a loss of blood.

106

2006-11-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

yay fruitful day at work. got 10 surveys today! heh ^^V tts 151 bucks i think =x monday got another one waiting for us =D $_$ lol. but den we walked the whole strathmore and depot area until my tiny toe got blister because of my stupid shoe T.T oh yah and we saw imraan this morning. blk 49 strathmore ave =x lol. he didnt recognise me and ber -.- but den no matter how much i earn up till now still negative profit -.- i owe ah ma and my sis a lot of money =x ah ma alone 140 bucks i think. den i need to pay my phone bill. but contact lens. and solution. and i bougth adizero today! ^^ burned a big hole though T.T

heh ^^

oh yah and i saw a denise wine shop near chancery court on the first day of work at newton area =D

105

2006-11-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

yay yay finally found jobs ^^ got this mei shi zhan job from 17-21 nov from huan min and this surveyor job today. i think it'll be tough though.. the survey's like super long -.- we're supposed to go house to house to get data. if it was me i sure shut out the surveyor =X lol. prepared to eat a lot of bi men geng tml =/ cant go for the flyer job liao. cos we need to meet a certain quota every week for the survey =/ jus realised the flyer person in charge look a lot like darrick.. maybe is his elder brother. O.o nvm abt that. hopefully when i get my pay i can support myself and not take any money from my parents and hopefully shut the both of them up. damn irritating. they were quarreling over money again last night. and its not as if we dun have money or wad. it's jus that my mom has to pay more.. and she's unhappy about it -.- my dad was regurgitating wad they quarreled about last night. oH my TiAn~~~ leave me outta it pls.

104

2006-10-28T20:00:00.000+08:00

the loneliness is engulfing me again, strangling, constricting.

i dont have close frens in jj besides yq ber and ah ma.

i dunno whether suanwoo can be counted. or whether she even wans me to count her in.

wad a sad revelation.

its all my fault.. i think there's smth seriously wrong with me. my personality. wadever.

leave me alone. its just one of those days when i cant help but feel lonely.

103

2006-10-28T12:51:00.000+08:00

had sentosa bball outing ytd. not bad la quite fun. =D had training aka recreation.. training was onli running pushups and ma bu i think =X we couldnt do inclined situps in the sand. lol. spent most of the time sun tanning and playin in the waves =X hee.

blurry photo we took on bus. thanks to su =P

got in as ogl. but kena spillover to f4. but im a positive externality to f4 k =X hee. kinda sian lar.. cos half the ppl there are in arts. its not that i discriminate them or wadsoever.. its jus tt they clump together. and since there're so few arts classes onli so the ppl there somehow know each other ma. the girls in f4 are all in pairs la. like emily and stella, josephine and clara etc etc. i tried to mix but to no avail.. like for eg emily pulled stella away -.- felt kinda lost. both me and nic siew. we're the AOs =( abandoned ones =X lol. was sticking with karo most of the time.. but karo like kinda off and on soemtimes =/ zhou ren's my family head. and he like dunno much lar.. can see tt he quite lost oso. f4 onli got me, chris, zhiwei and karo are ogls before =/ if this time i dun get into games i confirm quitting liao. onli being games attach is holding me back in this orientation thing lar. =\

made my atm card today. FINALLY. yay finally have access to more money =X yq dun be jealous ^^V

102

2006-10-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

seriously worrying whether i can b ogl not. at first the position wasnt that important to me but it's like.. if i see everyone playing i wont have the mood to study oso =/ was kinda irritated ytd. everyone suddenly mass pang seh -.- ah ma say siew dun wan go he like dun wan go. eve dun wan. den ber was like on and off cos she said su not here she have to take training so dun wan go for interview. den suddenly wan go. den suddenly dun wan go. -.- soemtimes buay tahan her. have to keep pei he-ing.. veh tired lar. maybe wad ban said was right =/

parents kp quarelling over money issues nowadays. becos my dad lost his job and he's like 51 this yr most prob cant find back a job that would pay the same salary as before. damn sian. it's like dinner money onli oso wan quarrel.. damn sick and tired of staying at home sometimes. argh.

oh yah anyway the quarrel's resolved. =) thanks for all the concern ^^

~~i should confess.~~

101

2006-10-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

SHIT YOU ZM, SHIT YOU.

dunno who brought in the topic today about being ogl when we were sitting arnd at a table. den zm said sth like we must opt into family one cos its all the arts pple in it, and girls in arts stream are prettier because they're more stupid. i was like WAD? but didnt say anything. den he suddenly grabbed my chin like how u would grab someone you're trying to force open the mouth and said "HAHA, YA. OTHERWISE ALL THE GIRLS WILL END UP LIKE HER (ME)" i surprised myself; i didnt even scream. in fact i managed to force a smile before walking away to find suanwoo.

wad the fuck was i doing.

shyt you. who do you think you are. im not your property. im not an object. you dun have the right to shame me in front of my fwens [ yuzheng wanyi and huiqi were arnd ] i think you dun have any idea wad respect is. BASIC RESPECT. and worse till. to think im ur gf. WTF. you have no idea how much i despise you.

the old zhiming is gone.

SHIT YOU ZM, SHIT YOU.

100

2006-10-14T20:14:00.000+08:00

yay 100th entry! hahaa =X

finally back from camp. dun think i'll be ogl next year after this already.. realli screwed up during this camp. im a lousy facilitator man. i duno how to engage the campers. im jus not good with my words lar. and i suck in scdc -.- dancing with zhongru is damn pressurizing can. michelle snatch away chen di the noob (=X) i cant remember the entire dance den tio luffed at my zhongru. but at least he's nice enuf to lead me lar =) the camp was an accomplishment. the first day the cdians are all very seperated.. but now at least they're closer. and they're proud of their sch. i was damn shocked (in a good way) the last day after morning assembly when they burst into their school song after we started running to the hall from the parade square. ^^

the whole camp i was dreading e-web man. like i didnt noe wad to say even though i spent more time with them during the camp than ban and zm. ban games attach so bo bian. zm is like.. -.- he food attach so understandable must excuse himself one hour before and after mealtimes. but after that on the second day he went to help with the games leaving me and ber behind. -.= me and michelle wanted to report sick and miss e-web actualli. lol. but she kp sayign feel veh bad to pangseh suanwoo so in the end we both went. it wasnt as bad as i thot lar. jus anyhow crapped. i wanted to give shane de den in the end ber gave him liao. i had other candidates oso but they all passed among each other den i ended up giving sherren. = S

the games were fun lar. relali pei fu the games attach - yuzheng ban siyun and carrie. they created like a swimming pool using canvas sheets and benches lar. damn zai. lol. and the fei ji qi game.. we nearly won! but last min tio a spot where we have to move backwards and we lost to walnut =( lol. carrie and siyun realli did a lot.. as in planning the games and making them. *salutes* the nut night was no less fun than any other JJ nights that we had. oh yah there was this problematic camper who refused to dance mass dance throughout the camp. as in like even when facilitators, peirong chianlim and even mr ng tok to him he oso refuse -.- but in the end during nut night he actually danced when i partnered him! ^^ big improvement sia. as in the whole sch finally have that kind of school spirit.. hopefully it'll continue on lar. really glad for them =D

that aside.

today's training sucked. there wasnt even training. onli 3 of us turned up. me su and ber. out of 10 ppl. WAD IS HAPPENING TO THE TEAM? are we even a team anymore? chian and huiwen had to go back to msia. crystal said she wanted to come bt she overselpt. jessie and sinyee missing in action. yueqi and michelle forgot.. yueqi said she wanted to go repair com but in the end ber said she didnt and even saw her going out. seriously im pissed lar. not with yueqi but with all the others oso. me and ber both jus came back from camp tired like siao we oso never forget or pon training. ber and su were veh angry with yq and mic for joining cheerleading and never asking for su's opinion. they ponned training without telling her.. jessie's attitude is diff with kaixuan lar. she's always punctual for kaixuan's trainings. crystal's too lazee.. sinyee i oso dunno why she's not making an effort to come. ban's saying lao heng wanted to disband the guys' team becos they've got too little ppl and their attitude suck. looks like the girls' team isnt any better.

zm's kind of neglecting me. he admitted it himself. im sick and tired of initiating converstaion with him and him giving short replies and not bothering to cont further. it has become more like a one-way communication thing lar. he claims that he's busy. am i not busy myself. and why should i bother when he doesnt even care. soemtimes i think it isnt worth it lar. maybe this relationship will end up all the rest. maybe i should withdraw before i sink in deeper. maybe..

excuses excuses and more excuses. i've had enough for the day.

099

2006-10-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

promos are finally over. not very happy though.. worried about the results. i wun do well i think. i seriously think i might retain. no use regretting now actually.. i brought it upon myself for not studying hard enough, not paying attention during lectures and tutorials. i deserved it lar. =/ arghhhh.

098

2006-08-31T19:43:00.000+08:00

happy early teachers' day =)

went back to bp. me ber and ah ma practically chiong-ed back. ha. we took taxi ma. and ended up being too early. ber and ah ma got to see mrs poh.. and stupid mr loh had to not be in sch dunno for wad reason =( all my other teachers dun recognise me anymore.. selva, osgodby.. even tiger! =/den after tt a lot of people came back larr. it's nice to see them but it's also veh weird.. suddenly dunno wad to say. was hi and bye-ing most of the time. im only close to a few. maybe not even a few.

so wad if i noe a lot of people. i dun have close frens except for ber ah ma and yueqi. i regret detaching myself from 3T1/4T1 and the girls of S22 and S24, i regret not bothering to keep the frenship ties with especially the 102/205 ppl.. people like jialing zhilun and caleb, my pri sch frens like hazel and michelle as well, i regret i regret i regret.

but time doesnt turn back. it wun allow me to make changes anymore.

in jj it's diff to find someone u can click with and tok stuffs with. at least for me. we can play, we can laugh.. but when it comes to stuffs.. nope. the girls are normally already in cliques. impossible to chap in. den they got wadever stuffs they jus share among the clique ONLY. tts why sometimes i feel that guys are easier to tok to. yet it will lead to misunderstandings. and sometimes some stuffs guys jus cant understand.

mr leow said this cambodian scholar from SA committed suicide. almost all the scholars i noe were affected by his death. quan was damn worried tt day and had to leave urgently. nanthaphorn cried in class. =/ it was quite irresponsible of him though.. all the pain ends for him. but the pain gets inflicted doubly on each and every person who cares for him. =/

sheng ming hao cui ruo.

097

2006-08-20T12:05:00.001+08:00

the pd block thingy was damn fun ytd =D i was zuo bo-ing most of the time though. =X im ms ho's PA ma. hahaa. got to wear blazer for the first time ytd! heh. but my feet hurt like hell ytd lar. arghh. the court shoes ber lent me were too big. i was walking like a duck most of the time -.- den ah ban and leonard bully me when i cannot walk properly somemore! ask me go all the way to rooftop to get the static ushers down for briefing while he take dunno first or second floor. heng alex was nice enuf to exchange his 3rd floor with me =D the gala dinner was damn grand lar! omg omg omg. macham hotel buffet like that. a lot of food lo! food bordered the whole hall and outside on the way to the grandstand still got stalls offering roast meat items la! O.O i didnt eat much though. didnt have appetitie. the photographers ate A LOT sia. still wan us go serve them food when we havent eat ourselves. emma was damn pissed with mr subash for asking us to do tt. lol. heng didnt miss gino's performance =X it was damn nice larr. at least half the hall's attention was on them when they performed compared to other performers =X hahaa. the foreign students oso put up performances. didnt expect they'll do tt lar. the last part was the best =X after mass dance all of us including foreign students went up on stage to sing xi shui chang liu together. and the seniors led us with some songs aft tt. the feeling veh heart warming.. like everyone's part of a big family lo =)

oh yah and the show time thing was quite fun too. as in after we come back sch lar. the cheering oart was veh sian.. as in we went early in the morning jus for 2 12 secs rehearsals for our cheering part -.- budden after we come back school at abt 10 plus the guys like hoehan ban paul they all totally went crazy and went arnd dancing in canteen lar. LOL. mr leow was bar top dancing =X LOL. damn funny. oh yah dey had this dunno wad bel dance too. super funny. look at the couns do luff until peng. super spastic. lol.

096

2006-08-09T11:19:00.000+08:00

sudden urge to update =X ha.

had sports meet ytd. bannister didnt do very well =/ we were either the last few or 3rd or smth. only ber they all de 4x100m got second. ran for the 4x400m event. was veh happily sprinting for 200+m den suddenly energy deplete and i nearly blacked out. and the worst thing is i couldnt coordinate my legs. it was damn wasted cos the 2nd runner took over one person and in the end i had to lose it to clara =/ felt veh bad to meiqi lo. den came tug of war. we won the 3rd place after beating owens! heh. but den owens this yr damn strong lar. they got champion for almost all the interhouse games, the track events and of cos the entire sports meet la. bannister got third i think. oh yah and there was fart lek too. the girls had to carry a 3kg medicine ball and the guys a 5kg one O.O bannister guys lagged a lot cos quite a number fell. but at least these people managed to stand up and complete the race =) ban ran damn fast lar! the frequency of his legs was like O.O LOL.

actualli wanted to go back bp after sports meet but in the end ah ma and yueqi had phy -.- mrs chiu called me the night before to ask me to get my plaque. i told her i'll be going back and in the end i didnt =X hee. ended up playing ball before going back home to get changed and catch some sleep. we went to watch fireworks at marina after tt. it was damn nice lar! and my phone had to be sent for repair at a time like this -.= toking about my phone err the pivot part came off leaving only a tuft of wires holding the two parts of the fone together =X lol. sorry im too muscular lar =Pp

my parents actually wanted to go msia today den in the end postpone to tml =/ and the day after i have camp. zzz. oh yah toking about my parents i was damn pissed off with them. IDIOTS. i told my dad before about OUAP and he agreed to let me go. den the other day whn i showed him the form and asked him to sign he was like "i where got agree to let you go. soemmore ur grades so lousy..." BLAH BLAH BLAH. i was damn pissed off. I HATE PPLE BREAKING PROMISES. grrrr. and my ever-so-clever mom had to chap in and yak non-stop too. i was so angry i tore the whole OUAP form in front of him and told him i won't rely on him. it's not as if we're having financial difficulty or smth. my dad's like fking rich jus tt he doesnt show off his wealth.

fri's going to be a long long day for me. supposed to end sch at 12 den in the end i have makeup tuts all the way till 4.30 -.- den i have the pd block rehearsal. im soem movement coordinator and i dunno wad my job scope is besides taking orders from the teacher in charge O.o becos of stuffs like these i have to miss part of the camp. argh. dun like missing the start of camp cos when i go back i'll sure be damn lost. esp if i'm put into a grp where i dunno anyone! oh my tian >.<

095

2006-07-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

omg today's a bad bad day. actualli it was still ok in the morning. until maths lecture. stupid mr choo. zzz. ok i admit i wa sin the wrong for playing with the dog soft toy. he confiscate it i got nothing to say. BUT AFTER THAT I DIDNT EVEN OPEN MY MOUTH and he said i was toking. like toking to who. air molecules meh. wa lau he's damn freaking irritating la. the worst thing was he asked for my name in front of the whole lecture grp. and he said somethin like oh you have a nice name. THANKS FOR THE SARCASM LA. WTH. after the lecture went to see him and apologise to get the doggy softtoy back cos it's mic's junior's. in the end he made a whole big fuss out of it la. he was like u all can go up on stage and dance with the dog or smth. -.- i felt damn bad for implicating mic yq and ber la. zzz. it wasnt their fault at all. and when i told him i wasnt toking he went 'orh ok nvm' and continued ranting on abt the dog. ARGHHHH. WTH! WHY CANT ADULTS JUS ADMIT THEIR MISTAKES. den now he's going to pass the dog to mdm khoo. hopefully. cos when ber said her maths tutor is mdm khoo he kept saying mdm goh instead. -.- argh.

to make things worse pple who knew me kept like harping on it. i was so pissed after the lecture i kept punching walls and stuffs like tt. didnt even have to mood to eat. and pple who knew me had to keep reminding me of the embarrassment. i knoe they're joking la but i cant help but feel pissed off. i was ok during interhouse bball.. but after tt on the way to fill water at the water cooler or to the washroom pple will go like 'ahahah denise dun play with ur dog la' or like 'tok so much in lecture' -_______________- wth la. I HATE BEING ACCUSED OF SOMETHING I DIDNT DO. oh yah got this senior made me veh pissed during interhouse netball oso. the whole bannister bball team went to play nball and we got 1st =D as in we negotiate with owens to say we both got first =D heh. oh yah back to tt girl she was damn idiotic la. the ball was on the ground and we were like snatching it. its was 2 against me and tt girl was like 'its mine la!!' den both me and the other girl stun -.- its was damn stupid can. the ball doesnt have her name wad. i was so pissed i jus stood up and walked away. i should have snatched it from her lore. argh.

dunno wad's with some of the j2s. there was this girl in the toilet today scolding us for not queueing up to use the cubicle -.- hell knows she was 'in front of the queue' lar. she was busy looking into the mirror can. WTH.den after that after she washed her fwens she said 'wo men zou' to her fwens as though she's some gang leader or smth. -.- ohh puh-leaaseee.

093

2006-07-06T16:30:00.000+08:00

oh my havent blogged in a long long time =X

had the bball steamboat on wed aft investiture. went late though. yueqi couldnt find her shoes after the council investiture. the investiture was damn nice lar. as in the effects and stuffs. the j2s were damn sad.. they cried like mad after the curtains closed lo =/ poor things. after the investiture su sian was like looking at his councillor badge and saying next time cannot wear it le have to wear the normal school badge. he looked damn sad lar =( cant blame them lar. after all they went through so much together. =/

managed to take a pic of the council board before the entire thing was taken off =/

bball steamboat was fun. didnt eat much cos i practically gobbled the delicious food from the reception in the concourse after investiture =X LOL. when we were eating steamboat a lot of houseflies attacked us la. den dunno whose idea was it to start catching them O.o in the end dunno is serene or evelyn caught one! ^^ LOL. den ber said tt was our team pet and ms leo have to bring it for walks everyday or smth. =X jiamin suggested rearing it at our notice board so ber stuck it there after our steamboat. den she said she'll coem up with feeding times and training schedules to train the fly to perform. LOLOL. but in the end the poor fly died after one day lar. =((( lol. scheduled to have its funeral tml 8/7/06 at 0543hrs 21 secs ^^ LOLOL =x

team pet =X lol.

had a half day today. actually not considered half day cos i always end at 12 on fridays. -.- went to far east to shop for stuffs to wear to his pri school tcher's church wedding. in the end couldnt find anything -.- planning to go ber's hse to 'rent' clothes. lol. was kinda sian diao with her in the morning. she wanted to pang seh me and go home slp -.- hate pple pang seh-ing me. zzz. but eventually she didnt lar =) after we went off for tuition ber went to visit ban. poor ban is down with fever =/ hope he gets well soon :)

092

2006-07-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

heh. went to town today with ber yq ban paul zm and ah ma. didnt do much la. actualli wanted to watch recycle but ber and yq didnt want. i didnt want to oso lar. jus dont like watching horror movies =/ den went to play pool a while before gg to far east to shop. all of us bought stuffs =D the stuffs dere damn cheap lar. omg. and ive to be broke during GREAT SG SALE PERIOD T.T oh yah then there was this veh cute kitten scoruing arnd for food

that's ber carrying the kitty. she's so in love with it la. lol.

oh and we saw michelle today too. with her mom and bro. hope her thingy turns out well lar. i dun wan kh nor her to go back =(

chianlim and his survey thingy again ~_~
my teacher once said: "don't ever be a teacher." lol.

never in my life: would i want to commit suicide? =/

the 1 person that can drive me nuts, but then can always make me smile: YOU

i like: eating

because: tt's my life =X

when i'm nervous: i will stutter. and my palms will become sweaty.

the last time i laughed was: on the train? i forgot at wad =X

my hair is: long. brown. dry grass-like like ah ma always say -.-

my feet are: size 6/7. depends on the cutting of the shoes

last christmas was: 25 dec 2005 =X LOLOL

when i turn my head left, i see: study desk. with all the different chargers =X lol

when i turn my head right, i see: my scanner cum printer and CPU

when i look down, i see: keyboard?

the craziest recent event was: eh dun rem.

by this time next year: mugging for As?

i have a hard time understanding: some stuffs. paul always say i take 20 yrs to understand stuffs -.-

one time at a family gathering: hell broke loose. =/

you noe i like-like you if: treating you extra nice.

if i won an award, the first person i'll thank is: depends

triangles are: 3-sided

my ideal breakfast is: the western kind of breakfast. with the bacon and eggs and wad-have-you

if you make me really happy: i'll jump arnd in joy? =X

where do you plan to visit anytime soon: japan/korea/italy/france/new zealand =DDD

boys are: immature

i'll stop my wedding if: i have to.

the world could do without: ppl like francis =X

i'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: err hell no. never will i do that.

most recent thing that you've bought yourself: this hot pink top =D

my least favourite time of the day is: when i jus woke up. always have the urge to go back to slp and pon wadever is on for tt day.

and by the way please hold on: heh?

the last time i was high: cluster camp?

the last person i talked to told me: she's bored -.-

last night i: slept? super drowsy from the flu medicine.

there's this girl i know who: goes from place to place on a lotus =X LOLOL

there's this guy i know who: always insists that im deluding myself with my wadever sotong theory -.=

i'll tell the next person who make me really happy: lalala =X

i'm listening to: my CPU fan making a lot of noise -.-

i last ate: muah chee =D

my bedsheet is: green?

i smell: nice? i jus bathed not long ago =D

on my table i have: my phone? smsed halfway =X

my full name is: Denise Ng Chuanning (my chuanning's supposed to stick together and not 2 words =/)

im not tagging anyone. too lazee to do so =P and the survey damn long la. dun think anyone else will want to do it >.<

091

2006-07-01T14:15:00.000+08:00

you've changed. you weren't like that in the past. isolating urself and withdrawing into your own world, thinking that you're protecting urself. but the truth is you are not. escaping from reality won't help at all. i want to help. but u wouldnt let me... and it hurts me to see you like that.

feeling very isolated again out of the blue.
sometimes i feel that i just can't connect with people.

the lonely feeling is eating into me, yet again.
and at times like that he has to be not around.

090

2006-06-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

oh my. injured myself today. tripped over cai xin's foot while running after the ball during training. injured the whole left side of my body lo -.= hit my head my shoulder my elbow and knee T.T damn painful lar. my head like tio concussion like tt. veh giddy. and my shoulder hurts like hell esp whn i carry my bag. in the end couldnt play in the testimonial match la! kinda disappointed but wad to do =/ haii. oh yah and this senior called chryl came down to play cum refree cum train us. she damn funny lar. kp luffing at the seniors and stuffs like tt. SELF AMUSEMENT lore. LOL.

super stressed nowadays. played too much during the hols didnt get to complete much work. now rushing to finish stuffs. and im like damn tired nowadays. i wasnt liek tt lar. and it got worse lore. kp slping in class no matter how hard i try to kp awake. as in i can be writing until i doze off. den i'll wake up and try to write again but will end up writing wrongly. in the end the whole piece of paper will be full of liquid paper -.- zzz. dunno wad's wif me. i veh scared i fail common test la. CHOI* budden realli. esp my phy which is like CMI. argh. tml having test la. and being the ever so clever me i dumped my phy file together with my tys in his locker and im stuck with no notes to study. GG la. econs too. cant seem to write a proper essay. and the worst thing now is pw la. haven done anything when other pple already doen surveys and stuffs and collectign data liao -.= die die die.

today we were debating abt the gp essay topic about 'life has never been better' which means life is good presently. den the guys (ban and paul) kp insisting is life is not good now. den keep debating la. in the end we were correct la but den they like a bit bu fu shu =/ guys and their ego =\

089

2006-06-18T12:34:00.000+08:00

weee. came back from the tj camp =D as usual wasnt as bad as i thot. hee.

oh yah me and yueqi went off in the morning of the first day to play frenly against ac. we won 66-23. could have won more if we werent so slack. we won not becos we were good, we won becos they were lousy. realli. only the 2 j2s tt came down realli knew how to play ball =/ they had like 10 over people when we only had 7 -.- den keep interchanging hardly have time to really recover. stupid cai xin came only after the match -.- diao.

went to chinese garden for amazing race. omg i admit im a mountain tortoise. tt was the first time i went chinese garden. -.= all the places in the clues i dun even noe one. the kids were leading us. lol. they damn smart la. got this clue tt showed a sundial. alot of grps called for help before they couldget there.. but my grp they all went to ask the staff. and it didnt occur to my mind that i can ask the staff at all =X lol. and soemmore they tyco walk in the correct direction and went directly to the place. O.o hahaa. tt place veh cute! it has the statues of the various zodiac signs. i took with the horse although mine is snake -.= yueqi took with the pigs. ah meng took with her relatives =X tommy took with the rat. it was damn cute! he was kissing the rat =X

LOL. we had a lot of fun taking pics on the bridge and stuffs like tt =P sat on the snake stone chair and took foto too. yq me ah meng and nic aka retard =D

den went to the tortoise musuem. omg i seriously hate tortoises now. it used to be ok for me.. but after seeing all the various weird species of tortoises i feel damn disgusted. the highlight of the museum was this mutant tortoise with 2 heads and 6 legs. it has soem birth defect tts why. its seriously damn disgusting la. it has only 3 holes for it to stick its heads and legs out. den it looks veh queer. tt mutant tortoise is in the guiness book of records for living up to 5 years plus now. it was supposed to only survive for 2 mnths. den saw spotted tortoises. red yellow and white/grey spots. damn eeky. got this snap alligator of alligator snap tortoise of smth. it opens its mouth like an alligator and its got a tongue like a worm to attract fishes. when the fish goes near enuf it will jus snap its mouth shut. O.O there was this species of tortoise that has survived since the dinosaur era. it's got this tail with spikes on it. the typical dinosaur kind of tail O.o

went to the goat farm, aerogreen, and qianhu fish farm. there's this super huge goat at the goat farm lar. its like twice the height and width of ah meng O.o my god. oh ya and i insisted tt the zhao pai veggie they grew there was called BUTTERCUP. err when its called BUTTERHEAD. whn the guide said tt i totally omg lar. -.= xiang yu they all kp luffing. luff until peng -.- i was super paiseh! omg. den at qianhu the kids got to fish. of cos we joined in.. i couldnt even catch one. puteri caught 9 -.- i felt damn zi bei sia T.T

had telematch before the campfire. i actually didnt want to get wet cos i was wearing shoes. but in the end still got wet la. and SUPER DIRTY. -.- special thanks to ravi. lol. he kp rubbing flour on me lo. a few of the campers attacked me oso T.T

campfire was not bad la. starting the atmosphere was a bit weird. soemmore tommy was in a bad mood cos xiao qing spoilt his fone =/ budden later became better =) ber and ban came down to support ^^ dey were like oh my child is a facilitator in this camp. LOL. the parents were quite spontaneous la. esp wilson's mom. LOL. she veh supportive and enthu lo. after the camp ended was kinda sad. the kids in minnie are damn cute lo. =/ so gonna miss them.

went to zone d after tt. played cards and watch i not stupid. nuaed until 2 plus den a lot of us walked to taman jurong mac to watch soccer -.- lol. it was damn far la. the match was stupid lar. italy vs usa. in the end the score was 1-1. -.- the refree sent off 3 players i think. nv foul oso say foul. dot. b4 tt me yq and suwen we were eating.. eat and watch until halftime we decided to take a nap. den in the end aft the match resumed we couldnt wake up liaoz. LOL. i woke up in btw cos everyone made a lot of noise when nearly score or smth. after the match ended everyone left except us. den its like the entire mac only left us sleeping on the tables. lol. slpt till 7 den took bus back to zone d. everyone in zone d slpt until damn funny. LOL. the positions damn gao xiao la. slpt till 8 den went back wif yq. missed out all the fun after tt T.T

seriously i miss the pple i worked with in the camp more than the campers. actually was super reluctant to come to the camp.. but after tt i didnt wan the camp at all. miss pple like xiaoqing, ben and harry. wun have much chance to see them arnd le =/

went to collect my fone. nearly died using my mom's fone lar. =X and went to watch garfield with him. heh. the show was ok la. not liek super funny or wad. except the trousers part. LOL.

alot of ppl lost their stuffs recently. i lost yuyang's fone. yq lost her wallet. harry oso. den huiwen lost her fone. =/ my my.

088

2006-06-14T16:57:00.000+08:00

omg. my com's gone haywire thanks to my ever so clever sister. AGAIN. -.- i cant use msn. not even windows messenger. i cant play gb nor maple too. and i cant visit certain websites. i cant even view my own tag board! my god. having a spate of bad luck recently. arghhh. managed to repair my fone and got my replacement sim card. but i still havent found a solution to replacing yuyang's fone. yuanping said there was stock at this second hand shop.. but the price is like 350 bucks lar. -.- a new w550i w/o contract costs abt 400 -.= im not gg to fork out tt kind of money for a second hand old phone lore. zzz.

went for S22's chalet ytd. so happy to see them there la =D before tt went to get some food and the class tees. the class tee was a total disappointment =/ we chose dark brown round neck tee.. in the end the person said they dun have stock so changed to olive. in the end no stock again so ask whether can change to another shade of brown not. the shade of brown is damn sucky when matched with the words lar. they somemore print wrongly -.- there were 2 bernards and there werent any stickman below jiajing's name. den yuzheng was damn sian diao cos he paid for a class tee that doesnt have his name. LOLOL. mrs tan said we tio tocked by the person who printed the tees for us T.T mrs tan was damn nice sia! she bought seafood and stuffs and prepared it nicely lo. as in she washed and cut it beforehand.. and she brought some seasoning too. so thoughtful of her ^^

oh yah i learnt how to play bridge ytd! kind of la. not exactly sure how the game goes. hahaa. stayed with the guys in the chalet becos the girls went off to escape while i and a few others were marinating the chicken and stingrays. the bbq food were damn nice lar. esp yuzheng's nuggets. LOL. he's damn proud of them la. hahaaa. the prawns were DELICIOUS too. omg heavenly la. =X den after everyone has eaten me ah ma and ber we went off quietly to the water point to make water bombs. =XX and we attacked AH SOON with them of cos =P wahahaa.

den went to watch she's the man today. DAMN FUNNY! lol realli laugh till peng in the cinema. its a must watch movie like ber said. realli veh nice. the stuffs amanda bynes did in the show were damn amusing. LOL. after tt while on the way to photostat maths holiday assignment me and ber we went into mini bits to look at stuffs. saw these earrings that were damn cool. it was this gun and a 'BANG' thingy. another one was a gun and handcuffs. saw this ring tt was veh nice at another shop too. but im so broke now lar. T.T

damn stupid. there's frenly against acjc tml. and i only knew it ytd.. but we have to go for the tj camp tml. -.- argh. i wan to play T.T

087

2006-06-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

omg la. GG. i lost the fone yuyang lent me. like wth.. it slipped outta my bag in the taxi. den its like gone case le despite calling the taxi company so many times. shytty. thankfully its nt my w550i.. if it is i'll be even more upset. my parents kept rubbing into it jus now. WTF. esp my mom. all she does is chid me for being stupid and careless and losing other ppl's things. she didnt comfort me AT ALL. like thanks. at least my dad helped me call the taxi company and rant non stop at them to ask them help find the fone. but he oso went on and on abt how careless i was la. -.- i was so upset i broke down while toking to ah ma on the fone. haiii. i dunno how else to make it up to him besides getting him the same fone back. argh. shytty lar.

086

2006-06-08T20:00:00.000+08:00

^^V

085

2006-06-07T19:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BER :D
heh. went to watch cars together with her fen zm and paul. turned out to be better than expected. the storyline's not bad.. the msg behind it's meaningful too ^^ and its SUPER FUNNY. esp the part where whenever they horn or screech the tractors will jus suddenly become so afraid that it cannot control itself and start falling backwards. and sneezing aft that -.- SO DUMB LA! lol.

i wish he knows__//*

084

2006-06-06T17:57:00.000+08:00

We wouldn't last for the week
I guess they think that I'm a freak
They hated my blue streak
I cant control this

[Chorus:]

Why does it feel like it's raining in my head?
I don't understand
Why are you always complaining about me
You don't even know who I am
Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after youI won't say it started cause
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you
I feel that it's time
For me to draw the line
(I know that I'll be fine)
Without your bitchin'
Cos' everyday I become
A little less known
Like I don't even know you

[Chorus:]

Why does it feel like it's raining in my head?
I don't understand
Why are you always complaining about me
You don't even know who I am
Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after you
I won't say it started cause
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you
Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after you
I won't say it started cause
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you
Cos' I don't need you
Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me
Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me
Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me

maybe im thinking too much.
maybe the one for him isnt me..
maybe all the while it has been someone else and yet i keep deluding myself telling myself insisting to myself that the person is me.
sometimes i jus wish i can scream out loud and tell him how i feel..
but i would not.

082

2006-06-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

heh. went to watch xmen today. ok la. the story wasnt liek super great. in fact i nearly fell asleep while watching. super tired +.+ before the movie we went to play pool. played like shit -.- zm was damn pissed with himself for not playing well =/ oh yah after the movie we took this neoprint. damn spastic! the time they gave us to choose wasnt enuf la. den in the end random pick or smth den the machine gave us those photos which are not decorated -.-

081

2006-05-31T20:32:00.000+08:00

heh. finally have time to update. went to shop at bugis ytd. finally after so long! bought this top. 28 bucks! T.T i spent the least but i onli have one item. yueqi spent a bit more than me but she got 3 items =((( hahaa. couldnt realli buy anythign else cos i was broke and we had to pay for the aj band concert ticket -.- aj's band concert was damn entertaining la! LOL. the first part before the intermission was ok. the pieces veh nice but the whole thing was jus boring la. den after the intermission they had this mini skit. like they've got this mime about road safety while in the bg the band will be playing. its so damn funny lore. everyone luff like dunno wad. aj band played summer loving later. mass dance! hahaa. den they did their own mass dance on stage. damn funny! alford was so stiff la. lol. den after that the band gave their conductor a bubbles soft toy. and he held it up as if it was some trophy like tt. he didnt have a place to put it after that.. den he jus awkwardly put it beside the platform. lol.

had so called bball training today. in the end only got 4 of us - me su ber and qi. -.- the rest all had excuses.. den in the end we jus slack thru la. 4 pple onli how to train lore. den after tt went lot 1 to play pool. saw zhiwen! omg damn happi to see an old fren la =D heh. went to play pool together. he keep suaning me la. -.- we teamed up against yueqi and ah ma. and we won on the overall i think =D he's gonna treat me to sakae on our bdae! heh heh heh =DDDDD

080

2006-05-30T11:32:00.000+08:00

omg take a look at the background and the shout-out box above. this's afiq's frenster.. he scanned the note which ah ma wrote and used it as bg! tt's soooo sweet of him! ^^

079

2006-05-29T10:18:00.000+08:00

supposed to have training this morning. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT UNTIL SUHAILA'S MSG WOKE ME UP IN THE MORNING. like thanks ah. sometimes i jus dun feel welcome in the team. like the other time after tournys. everyone was kinda invited to join some outside team. i wasnt. until cai xin asked me cos kai xuan didnt have enuf pple. -.- i noe i don't play well.. and i take too long to learn.

maybe i should jus quit.

called yueqi this morning to ask whether she went for training. she didnt know about it oso la. den she said to go watch xmen later in the afternoon. she wasnt the one who suggested it la. the msg went arnd last night.. and no one told me anything about it lo. YET AGAIN.

maybe im just too sensitive. but i feel veh left out easily. arrrgghhh.

i've told myself i shouldnt be falling into that abyss again.. and yet i did. time and again. now im going through the pain alone and i've only got myself to blame..

078

2006-05-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

cluster camp wasnt as bad as i thought it would be =D

didnt really have time to interact with my cg pple though. honestly i dun even noe who's in my cg -.- we always sit as a family during mealtimes and mealtimes are one of the few hours i spend with them because most of the time i'll be away doing games. supposed to be in charge of only afternoon and night games.. in the end went to help yueqi for station games so 1 and a half days are gone because of that =(

i think out of the 3 games afternoon games for me is the most successful larr. everyone followed the rules. we played under the rain! i nearly froze and died sia. i stood liek dunno how long under the rain +.+ hahaa. before night game me qi raseena and huiting we chatted under the stars for an hour plus cos the song singing session dragged on. -.- freaky stuffs happened at the haunted house station again. from the top the whoel thingy looked harmless.. but i still didnt want to go in. yep yep im easily freaked out. gideon they all the camp would be worse. they got night walk arnd school. GG. the poor kids would be super frightened la. michelle wore this white and super flowy dress to scare pple tt night. and she looked damn scary with her hair down. station games was super chaotic. like tommy said the name of the station should be called 'total chaos' -.- after the first grp who didnt follow the rules me and yueqi we jus change the game to throwing water bombs and soapy water at the opp cg. lol. xinyi's station was the most fun one la! hers is the one with the slide =D we put alot alot of soap and the slide den keep sliding down in diff positions. i can slide down the furthest! hahaa =X had fun playing with the hose and spraying at pple. lol. ziwei keep coming to me to ask me spray water at his dirty clothes -.- ernest rubbed flour one me! T.T and stupid yongjun keep bullying me lo! he and his cg mates threw water bombs at me T.T and i bullied suxian instead =X wahahaa. he veh poor thing la. help us with this and tt i still go suan him. HAHA =X

wilson and his stupid face. hahaa =P

he veh cute sia. but the first day of mass dance he kp luffing at me -.-

i think he looks a lot liek desmond sia. they look like brothers lo.

bee is so damn funny. her YI PA UN DA NEH! LOL. evrytime she says that melvin will luff like siao. i nearly luffed my head off when i heard her at the station games' station too. =XXX

f1 had a lot of pple with injuries. = all happedned during pt. huan min's one most jialat sia. injured both knees and her hand. could see tt she was in a lot of pain lo. she keep tearing = shuhuey veh poor thing too. she vomitted 6 times thruout the camp sia. timothy had injuries on his leg den he couldnt join in the mass dancing on LINE nite. wasted la.

LINE nite was super super fun. oh yah f1f2's skit was soo cool! didnt expect them to come out with smth so good in such short time la. realli impressed. they're natural born leaders sia. ^^ had all the mass dances and chori chori! haaa. damn fun damn fun! ernest nearly died of siao-ness. LOL. he keeep jumpign up and down and goign crazy la. all the csls tried to liek control him. HAHA. and it was triggered by YI PA UN DA NEH cheer. LOL.

oh yah and on the last day we cried liek siao. before that was e web but didnt feel anything la. i aint super bonded with the family so ya.. jmin they all too. in the end when mr leow gathered us all back in the hall and talked abt how hard our tchers and parents worked and when he called zhi ye out who was sobbign so hard my tears just start to flow sia. after the session we were supposed to write post cards for a special tcher and parents. wrote one for soonie =X lol. kel suwen and ah ma too. heh. =D

had fun in this camp la. didnt regret it as much as before. before tt i think facs camp dun have so many pple so not as fun. and it was super tiring cos we dun have enuf slp got fire drill and on the first camp day got school and soccer cheerign somemore tts y i regretted joining at first. but now i dun mind going thru it again =DDD

077

2006-05-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

feeling upset now. haii.

i feel hypocritical. its like im on good terms with her on the outside yet behind her back i tell pple negative stuffs abt her. im as good as a backstabber lar. sometimes i just cant control my anger. i always tell myself to see the good side of her and accept her for who she is. easier said than done. i feel veh bad sia. and liek for example today as her fwen im supposed to help her isnt it. but i didnt help her fufill her wish.. i feel selfish. argh.

pp jus told me on the bus jus now tt my class guys think im stuck in my own world. am i? i did try to talk to them ahh. maybe i didnt try hard enough. maybe wad edmund said is right. maybe im realli a sqaure block trying to fit inside a round hole. im an outcaste. im unlikeable. im hated by everyone.

someone kill me pls.

076

2006-05-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

the mediacorp thingy wasnt tt bad. heh. had fun cheering for the judges, for zhong qin and guoliang and for other schools. the guest relations officer praised us worr =D we got the best score outta the 5 schools! heh. our performance was abt newater.not bad la. i think kranji sec's one still better =X their performance veh entertaining. lol. but dunno why westwood got higher than them -.- theirs like not veh nice lo. but nvm. still got sms voting. we kept cheerin sia. until the end of the recordign we still cheering. lol. =X

super tired today. we got excused from class at 12 to go support badminton. ^^ HEH. budden we stayed there for like 3 hours cheerign non-stop in the hall la. can die sia. no ventilation -.- the team lost in the end la. but kinda expected. only the china-imported doubles won =X lol. after tt went down to support soccer. the bus uncle went the wrong route 2 times sia -.- den we took like 1 hr plus to get there. by the time we got there we already missed 2 goals. and while we're settling down we missed anohter goal again -_____- we missed all the jj goals and only saw SA's goals. we won in the end la =D 3-2. we're 3rd in the nation. not bad le la. at least better than us T.T

tml's gonna be a long day again. my god. got security seminar till 6 plus. den got to stay back to paint banner T.T wad the heck. why must the shcool torture me liek tt. last week of school still got napfa, SPA, phy test, TCA and cluster camp! my god. i'll most probably die before the hols start >.<

075

2006-05-20T12:17:00.000+08:00

woohoo. talet time was a blast ytd. hahaa. the contestants did really well. garden of eve and kristian's grp sang veh well! soo damn nice la. and the dance category. OMG. gino's grp's dance was super nice la! they danced damn well. all the dance grps did veh well too. i think the other 2 grps lost to gino's one because they didnt have like surprises in store for the audience. gino's one had a lot of stunts. the rest was more of like jus dancing. =/ oh ya oh yah and the special items were like damn funny!!

LOL. mdm lim i think our maths lecturer she went up to sing. omg. we were laughing like mad sia. she's jus like singing and bo chup-ing the bg music. LOL. den she still like think she sing veh well cos we keep cheering for her. HAHHAAA =X den got the computing tcher he was super gay sia. his actions veh gay. he sang and danced. his dance moves are there la but not gan jing li luo. its more to the nua side. see liaoz veh gao wei. hahaaa.

and the special guest was damn gao xiao too. he was teaching us how to sing songs. den we all sabo mr koh to go up sing. mr koh dunno how to sing in the end becoem the guest singing onli. HAHAA. the teachers were asked to go up to sing too. LOL.

was super pissed ytd. i think i was too tired den got veh easily irritated. jus broke camp ytd. didnt slp well sia. we're supposed to have at leats 3 hrs of slp. but in the end the hall was like so damn cold. i shared my slping bag wif 3 others ma. they didnt bring.. den i only used like one t shirt to cover myself. the rest besides me and jmin had jacket.was freezing la. couldnt get to slp at all. wanted to go outta the hall but didnt dare to. partly becos i didnt want to wake the rest and partly cos of david tt story. in the end realised the rest thot the same way. LOL. camp was ok la. not super fun. im in charge of one games station in both night game and aft game. so didnt have chance to go to the haunted house. aft tt had la. but i didnt wan to go. when me and yq were in the field at our station bel came and told us all the ghost stuffs. sherman made this figurine for the haunted house station and when he took foto and wanted to print out the foto didnt come out and instead malay words and a lot of zig zag lines came out. like thos kind of laser printing gone haywire. the words read wad its lonely and wans to go hm. i believe in it la. i mean sherman couldnt have made it up. he doesnt noe malay wad.. and he make up for wad? its damn scary la. bel oso said wad cannot run around the track in clockwise direction, go toilet cannot 3 pple go otherwise got another person following out. damn scary la! heng not me and yq there alone. still got suwen cheryl and fauzi on top at the grandstand. otherwise we sure freak. my night game station kinda sian. the game not veh nice as comapred to the afternoon games one. afternoon games one more interesting la. i workign wif martin for tt station. hahaa.

oh yah den we had this new mass dance!! the dance veh nice lore. veh fun. lol. i partnered wif ban and it was super funny la. got a lot of turning den he keep turning wrongly and sliding the wrong side. the most funny thing was when its supposed to be right left right he stuck out his right leg but said 'left, right left right..' LOL! he kp saying he dance with me tts why become so spastic T.T hahaa. overall the camp wasnt that fun. it was more tiring than fun. maybe cos didnt get enuf slp. okok i noe im piggified. =( oh and mr leow told us tt clara's dad passed away. i was like O.O!!! the clara i see arnd in school is always veh happy.. didnt think tt such unfair stuffs would happen to her. my.. feel veh sad for her. =/ when mr leow broke the news almost all the couns elects were crying..

back to abt being pissed ytd.. everyone like kp asking me who's comin and who's not. like i noe la. i have to reply the same stuffs to a few pple lo. zzz. everyone i met overslept la. den all late.. almost tio pangseh-ed by ah ma again. den not confirm who we meeting at stuffs.. in the end we went together with s17 peeps and facs and s22.. ban was late.. den a while after he came we went to get some stuffs to eat. in the end he called and was like 'faster come up la. we all waiting for u. faster faster faster faster faster faster' -.- so impatient for wad. pls lore we waited how long for him. zzz.

dun feel like going down for the showtime thingy tml. veh sian la.. till at night liek 11 plus summore. ah ma not going.. yq i think oso. dunno leh if dun go i scared tio scolding lo. by mr leow and her T.T dunno la. gettign more and more sian diao with her by the day. ever since that tiem when i told her truthfully how we felt abt her she didnt change for the better and instead got worse. dunno la. maybe i'm jus too sensitive. hmmm.

074

2006-05-13T20:49:00.000+08:00

was in super sian diao mode before facilitator meetign today. zzz. tio ah ma and ber pangseh. ah ma say no voice den dun wan go school. ber was the one who suggested breakfast den in the end never go because of her ER ZUO JU ZHI WEN -.- den after tt called ah ma to ask whether he wan cum study wif us den he was like so bu shuang in his msg -.- to make things worse ber went hm after facilitator meeting to cont watchign and slp -.- she didnt slp the whoel night jus to watch. shuo hao yao qu fushan together one lore. tio pangseh-ed 3 times today la. super sianz.

facilitator meeting was ok. did soem ice breakers and mass dance =D got into our families and cgs. im in f1 again. most of the o2 oreintation f1 pple are in there too. den was even more sianz afterwards. kh in same cg as me.. den right aftet the splitting his face totally changed la. zzz. i dunno wads wrong wif him la. blowing hot and cold on me. when hes nice hes super nice. when hes not u totally dunno him. its liek he changed into an entirely different person and its super scary la. today was damn sianz la. zzz

went to play ball at fushan aft eatign lunch at west mall. oh yah i got this magnet and a really cute mug for my mum so tt she can bring to office to use =D heh. jus now when we went to this food court for dinner the stall where we ordered from gave out flowers as part of mother's day gift sia. hahaa. oh yah went to do a bit of hmk before going to play ball. didnt accomplish much la. mingxiong and his 2 fwens came down to play wif us too. his unity sec fwen veh pro sia. his speed is like damn fast. i dun even have enough time to react. ok maybe im just slow T.T but he's really damn fast la. saw a lot of fwens at fushan.. its quite nice returning to a place of familiarity. but not for qi ba =////

073

2006-05-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

went to the parliament house today. i thot it was gonna be as boring as last yr when i went there for parliament hearing. but wasnt la. not too bad actually. the last 1 hr we had this mini parliament debate about violent cartoons. got to be the clerk. elaine was the speaker. and yadong was the sergant at arms. =X lol. during the actual debate the guys who're representing PAP kp saying PAP rox -.- den never give concrete evidence la. the whole thing was damn funny. every speaker jus kp saying PAP rox den sit down -.- lol. den saykhwee and peipei read the wrong stuffs and kpt luffing. esp saykhwee! she took the longest to read her paragraph la. LOL. stupid girl =X

gonna be very busy soon again. cluster camp's coming. thankfully got chian lim to bang wo shuo hao hua ^^ heh. thanks worr. otherwise i wouldnt have got in as facilitator le >.<

072

2006-04-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

stayed back to watch the semi finals of talent time today. not bad la. the english soloists and some of the chi soloists not bad. oh yah and i love kristian's grp! i dunno the other guy's name la. the lead singer. but when he sang i was like melting sia. =X hahaa. the dances were the best la. heh. jiamin's and david's groups dances are dman nice! hehe. veh hip and veh well-coordinated. =D

went to eat at west mall after that with nette and ber before shoppign for liling's prezzie. damn gao xiao la. nette kp saying jiamin unfair.. cos when she called jiamin jm was damn fierce den when ber called jm not fierce at all. lol. nette kp saying jm pian xin.. hahaa. we were like luffing over wad sb size to get for liling and stuffs like tt too. in the end we got her this light green nike sb. ber and nette kp scrutinising the poor sb for flaws -.- lol.

goign out with og 1, 3 and suwen they all tml. goign kbox. veh weird lo. like 2 diff grps of pple. actaully 3. i onli noe stella in the whole of og 3 -.- ok still got that ho han person. ya tts all.

maybe its jus me. feeling veh anti social of a sudden.

kianhao's been ignoring me and stuffs like tt. i told myself not to get affected but soemhow it does. i still treat him as a fwen wad. den ber has to make me feel worse by syaing oh he treats her so well while he ignores me. liek thanks for reminding la. sometimes i jus feel no one's arnd. i can be surrounded with pple but no one is really there for me actualli.

i dunno why im feeling so lost all of a sudden. i cant even express my feelings properly here. argh.

071

2006-04-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

lien tt's suwen actign as guan yin ma in pizza hut =X WAHAHAH.

went to watch the guy play against SR today. in the end end up watching MI vs SA instead =X almost everyone's watching tt match. its like one side of the stadium's super full the other side where our team is playign no one bothers abt it at all =X their match damn exciting la! the two teams were like neck to neck.. their shots and stuffs like tt all veh nice. SA was lagging all the way until it caught up at the last part. draw. had overtime. in the end SA lost by ONE POINT. cos dunno hu fouled den had free throw. damn wasted! if only whye loon's last shot went in. haii. = \

070

2006-04-19T19:35:00.000+08:00

we lost. yet again. 39-25. argh. played today. onli scored 2 points and rejected one shot. our attack was like... the playmakers didnt call out any numbers. as in the numbers of our formations. half the time.. ok actualli most of the time i was like lost la. didnt noe whether to go up to high pole or the fowards wan us help them screen. didnt know wad i was playing. damn lost la. ms leo was super pissed today. haiii. i feel frustrated for her too = the guys lost to aj too. by 2o points. somemore aj didnt put their best players down. ym said the centre in his team slam dunked when they played against MI the other time. they won btw. in tt match against MI while JJ got trashed by MI the other time by like 50 pts and above -.-

069

2006-04-17T19:39:00.000+08:00

we lost to srjc. 35-27. haii. could have won lore. but no use cryin over spilt milk now la. i didnt even get to play.. kinda disappointed. = another one of our player's down. jessie sprained her ankle. argh.

068

2006-04-16T20:07:00.000+08:00

went to send nuqin off at the airport today. kinda sad seeing her go off like that.. after all she's been my tuition teacher for 2 years plus le =\ never gonna forget how we teach her chinese instead of having proper tuition, how we always qiao zha her to treat us to mac and the time we went her house! lol. we gave her the shoes first. didnt think she'd wear them on the spot lo. so nice of her. =D

nice right! ^^ wahhaaa. i came up with the idea and pic and yueqi with the black and red stripey design. heh. its suspposed to be with black laces but this pic was taken ytd when we did the stuffs at my hse.

look at the mess. lol. we gave her this milk bottle and notebook too. there's a secret about the bottle i cant say her lest nuqin reads my blog =X hahaa. the notebook is some sort of a diary for her la. we drew spastic stuffs inside. =X yueqi and ah ma spent alot of effort on the shoe box oso sia.

nuqin's mom treated us to swensen's icecream at the airport. hahaa. oh yah she damn funny la she brought this big pillow and one whole luggage of tidbits O.O lol. after she left we went to wlak arnd.. yueqi keep wanting to take pictures and take the sky train. lol.

before that accompanied EOR to heeren to get boots. saw ben and his gf there. ben kp xiang y-ing! -.- oh ya and i took this veh cute pic. is this drawing done by kids. veh cute! hahaa. i said im the kitty but EOR keep insisting tt im the pig -.-

jus found out some stuffs today. hmm. shant comment here. my first match's tml. damn nervous la. never played in school competition before. as in bball la. damn nervous.. i veh scared i'll blur diao den cause alot of mistakes or the formation to not work. argh.

067

2006-04-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

ARGH. STUPID BLOGSPOT. ERASED MY ENTRY! ZZZZ. I TYPED UNTIL SO LOGN SOMEMORE. WTH.

was in a super bad mood ytd la. because of kian. he took out his anger on me for like no good reason la. in the morning he already bad mood liaoz. i learnt not to console him from past experiences so i didnt tok to him the whole day. den in the end bo bian have to tok cos i had to ask abt maths and hes the maths rep ma. den kena blasted. wth. damn hurting la. its not the first time liaoz lo. den everytime he'll write some apology note. budden he'll repeat wadever he has done again. i mean its meaningless lo. -.- zzz. was damn upset with him ytd la.

den trainin made things worse. i didnt eat so was in gong mode. couldnt get the formation in my head. kena a lot of scolding. was supposed to run 3 times 3.2km last week. didnt run. kena punished by jiamin. supposed to run 10 rounds but i think ms leo asked her to ask us to stop la. i was like going to burst out crying on the way home le la. =

went to get materials for nuqin's prezzie today. planning to personalise canvas shoes, notebook, waterbottle and make a tuition tee. lol.

oh yah and stupid chian lim ask me to list down seven qualities of my perfect lover or smth.

1. he must love me for who i am.
2. he must be at least 17ocm.
3. HE MUST NOT BE POSSESIVE. EXTREMELY IMPT. i need my own space.
4. he must be able to crap! otherwise i think i'll most probably end up toking to myself. -.-
5. best if he's a baller.
6. ...
7. -.-

nothing else to list le. i mean if the feeling's right den all the above points except for 1 and 3 wont really stand le. im too lazy to tag other pple =X nvm la hor? =P

066

2006-04-09T10:11:00.000+08:00

ytd's f1 outing was not bad la =D although not a lot came. og 5 had the most number of ppl.. they were so sweet lo! made this tee for their lao da, ogls and themselves. so envious. hahaa. woke up damn early ytd. thanks to ah ma la. say wan buy drinks at shing shiong in the end pang seh me! T.T den later had to load all the mass dance songs into my mp3 player cos suan woo could only bring her speakers and not her portable radio, in the end the speakers too lok kok liaoz. even ber's ringtone louder than the 2 speakers -.- lol.

reached palawan beach at 12 plus. og5 were already playign among themselves den the rest of us felt kinda left out. = michelle lost her fone. i think tts y kian was in a bad mood or smth. got pissed off by kian again so i and su went to the bridge to chill. den after coming back i already had the intention to go down into the water on my own since so many pple are there budden a few of the guys still wnated to carry me and throw me down into the water! T.T ber oso. she was already in the water lo. the guys still carried her and throw. LOL. played monkey in the water. if josephine hadnt helped me i would have been stuck being a monkey for damn long la. =X heh. we did mass dance after that! damn cool la. got outsiders watchign us. lol. from far if cant hear the music so the ppl probably thot we were siao or smth. WAHHAA =x played vball after that. eve was damn gao xiao. lol. and during this period of time zhiming and a few others who refused or cannot go down into the water were stoning. shaowei oso. yongjun got ask him to come play with us but he didnt wan to and stoned there the whole day O.o
den later when EVERYONE went to wash up (i didnt noe) i went over to this grp whom i thot was our grp. den i was like picking up a bottle cos i wanted to drink den i saw unfamliar faces starign at me. O.O!! my god i was damn damn damn paiseh la! den stupid zhou ren was laughing at me! T.T i couldnt see properly in the dark ma! i was so darn paiseh i didnt dare go over the girls toilet cos the grp was jus outside and i had to sit outside the guys toilet waiting for the guys instead -.- den the most funny thing was tommy went over thinkign that grp was our group again! LOL. si bei paiseh lo. hahaaa. oh yah and gideon made me his da jie! suanwoo becoem his er jie =X he actually wanted me to be his ah ma -.-

walked to the mrt instead of takign the bus. the queue was super long. den the guys- zm zhouren hohan nic were singing along the way. tried to join in but kept singing wrongly T.T didnt join them for dinner.. went back home instead. was damn tired. nearly missed my stop on the train. ><

065

2006-04-06T19:34:00.000+08:00

nothing much happened the past few days la. its jus bball bball and more bball. a lot of training. even during pc. did striding the other time. today was si ze. shuttle run. 1o times -.- tournys start tentatively on 17th 19th and 24th. realli realli hope to win the comp. gotta push myself even harder liaoz. T.T oh yah and we FINALLY got to rematch with jurong west sec ytd. we trashed them this time! heh. the other time we only won by 6pts. this time by 20 over. but shdnt be too happy la. most of them are sec3. -.-

found out alot abt ber. HAHA. =x realli glad she came jj with me. err actually shd be i went to jj with her. hahaa. its good to have someone realli close to rely on at times. its nice having ah ma and yueqi too. =DDD dun say i never mention u all. =x

i seriously need tuition! had maths quiz the other day and i realise i still dun understand the topic after so long and even after studying it myself. T.T planning to go back to asia centre for tuition. but swine wouldnt be there anymore! = gonna miss her loads when she goes off to US T.T

064

2006-04-02T14:43:00.000+08:00

hmmm. suddenly feel kinda detached from s22. ytd's class outitng was a flop. onli 7 ppl came. yz went off at 2. yb at 3. i havent been going for the outings thanks to training and i missed out on all the fun and how they've been doing. feel very alone all of a sudden.

063

2006-03-28T19:26:00.000+08:00

had revelation today. was ok la. although the spirit of everyone wasnt as high as during camp time anymore. even the ogls had lag time =/ the photos the shadows compiled really brought back a lot of fond memories. our family video the last part where og 5 thanked their campers got cut off. and they stood up to say thank u instead. hahaa. i think the best part in our video was the part where yuliang go 'beat up' paul to snatch his shirt. that part veh funny. hahaa. took a number of pix. of the hall decorations esp. the hall's veh nicely decorated! we even had this runway where they lit candles by the side for all the ogls to 'model' on. veh cool!

the hall looked better in the dark =\

all the rest of the pix are in wanxian's digi cam. i specially charged my digi cam overnight for revelation today and i forgot to bring it to school! how dumb can i get right. +.+ i put a reminder in my handphone somemore. zzz. now have to trouble wanxian to help me upload the pix into her com and send me. >.<

was damn sad when they took off our banners. everyone were like taking pix of it. we spent so much effort on it! i still rem the first time we started on it. and they're going to throw it away T.T one of keng yeow's fren insists on us giving the doraemon to him -.- dunno why.

orientation's officially over. i'm missing the f1 ogls already. man. why must good things always come to an end. T.T

062

2006-03-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

went for the sportsathon at taman jurong green. the whole he;ping out thing was super sianz. even those who participated in the telematch and played the games felt sianz lo. overall the entire event's quite a flop. disappointing = but we entertained ourselves with mass dance! lol. most of the time we were jus self entertaining la. examples of self entertainment -->

i wanted to take jiamin. then karo chap in -.- hahaa.

hanyang's spastic face. lol. he was wearign karo's hairband!

we got free mac vouchers and an umbrella after the entire thingy. so it wasnt as bad after all =X hahaa. went to do our og gift after that. damn tiring having to write our own personal particulars in all 15 notebooks repeatedly. saw ernest and mingming. think they saw the og gift T.T the suprise element's gone liaoz.

oh yah and we saw this veh nice shoe ytd at queensway.

so cheong sam-y! lol. most suitable for ah ma! =D

061

2006-03-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

finally can use com. have been very busy. bball tournaments are coming, so have been training alot. by the time reach home too tired to even eat dinner. den somemore the table tennis teacher ask me represent the skool team cos they dun have enough players. so went for tt training as well. damn tired. lack of sleep. keep dozing off in class the past week =x

s24 is not as bad as i thot. but not as good as s22. i keep sticking to the ogls. esp suanwoo. the rest of the class like veh quiet lore. and oso nothing much to tok to them. whenever got breaks the whole class split. i'll go find the f1 ogls or jus stick wif suanwoo. had s22 gathering the other day but i couldnt go! and huiyin they all got come back but i couldnt talk to them! damn sad la. stupid training.

oh yah aft reading ah ma's entry i oso realised actually im not bonded closely with my og at all. maybe becos im games attach. they all oso not veh close to each other leh. it's like ive failed in my job. they're supposed to be close in the end they arent. and its becos of me. kinda disappointed la.

I FINALLY BOUGHT MY NEW BBALL SHOES TODAY! ADIDAS SUPERSTAR 2G LIGHT. HEH. ^^

060

2006-03-19T15:54:00.000+08:00

just read suwen's blog and realised im not the only one feeling lost here. seriously i kinda dread skool. i dunno how my new class will be like. and even if u noe the new pple in ur class the feelings and bonds will never be as strong as how s22 had been. i miss s22. T.T i'm not one who'll adapt to changes easily. its like ive grown so used to the s22 peeps den suddenly there's a huge change and i have to readapt again. besides i miss all the fun and laughter we had together. now its all gone. and can never be relived again. argh.

059

2006-03-16T19:51:00.000+08:00

f4 chalet wasnt as fun as i thot it wud be. maybe bcos i didnt stay over la. we spent our time playing pool, card games mahjong which i only played liek one game cos this grp of pple were hogging the table and we ate a lot of cos. =X it was weird having a chalet with pple u dunno. is like u walk arnd then u see big grps of strangers in the apartment. so weird. got my og tee. its damn small! didnt know the guys took the guys size and girls took the girls size. i thot everyone took the guys one. heng i never chnage size. girls' L size still veh small for me lo. as in the shirt veh short = not everyone signed on the og tee. shaun purposely signed until veh big -.-

went town today. finally got my pay from cny -.- couldnt change my billabong bag despite havign a warranty. and keng yeow didnt get anything from times so we'll have to go back there soemday again. +.+ didnt do much after tt. walked arnd.. ate and looked at stuffs. shd have went to cash in my pay =

oh yah me and yueqi we went to wdl stadium to run ten rounds today before going to 369 to play bball. =D ah ma and alford helped us time and waited for us to go play ball together. yueqi lost her mp3 player =/

058

2006-03-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

damn. we lost to ac at the friendly match today. 47-49. we were supposed to be on par. argh. it's the first time in jj history that we lost to ac. wth. i feel damn bad la. we're the ones that left a black mark in the history of jj. shyt. i didnt play well today. played for more than 2 quarters but i onli managed to shoot twice. i think. and all missed la. got a number of rebounds but i didnt manage it well. as in after i grab it i was to gan chiong in passing the ball out i didnt bother to look at who's available for my pass. its like there's no way i can slow down cos when i land everyone will start coming after me for the ball already. if i hesitate i'll end up fighting for the ball with them on the floor. i remember landing on a few of them accidentally becos of tt =X rejected a few balls. but had a number of fouls for pushing and hitting the hand. when i didnt. -.- i hit the ball but it looked like i hit the hand la. and the refree is damn damn damn damn damn kayu la. he didnt see a lot of fouls lo. from both sides soemmore. -.-

really need to be more disciplined and train myself more. no stamina sia. most of the time my brain was liek "cmon keep moving run run run" stuffs like tt. instead of thinking how to defend effectively. den the defender whu was defending me kp running lo. and when i try to run away she keep tugging on my shirt. zzz. lynette fell and injured herself a couple of times. a lot of us got elbowed. basically the ac team quite rough la. our team wasnt organised enough. as in the attack and stuffs. i and serene wasnt really sure about the attacking den we keep doing the wrong stuff. and ac team defence not tt strong. but they got stamina. they set the pace of the match which is too fats for us and we're damn tired tryign to kp up with it. i think jiamin veh jialat. she play veh long. and the pressure on her veh gr8. and she cried after the match. poor thing =
before the match in the afternoon i went to play ball at fushan. its nice to see familiar pple around again. =)

057

2006-03-13T19:45:00.000+08:00

heh. the southwest cdc campfire thingy was quite fun la. although some of the residents were enthu. but nvm! we had fun playign among ourselves. lol. especially with light sticks! hahaa.

this is the lightstick flower that paul supposedly wanted to make for me. instead i made it myself and i made one for him as well. lol. veh nice right! hahaa =X

went out with my class today. actualli wanted to go play pool. but in the end alot of them didnt want to and su wen was ill and didnt wan to go under the sun so we went to play pool and sing kbox instead. my pool skills deteoriate like hell. -.- yuzheng was telling us a lot of ghost stories abt the school. veh scary. +.+ and i was telling them stuffs as well. =X oh yah and actualli onli me chin chian suwen ah ma bernard and kelvin went kbox la. the rest went watch fd3. hahaa. suwen was liek saying we every month come kbox one time. =D and we were asking cc to go join JJ TALENT TIME ^^ he sings veh well lo! ppl must support him during the talent time k! =X

056

2006-03-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

this's continued from ytd. heh. couldnt complete it in time.

had fun being one of the games attached pple. although i was quite lost as to wad to do and stuffs. cos before tt during the ogl camp i wasnt games attach and soemmore i went home early T.T the first camp day after the set up for afternoon heats ji xiang and a few others started playign with the hose and all of us got wet. they made sure everyone got wet actually. hahaa. we played netball under the hot sun to dry ourselves but apparently we got wetter la.

from front left to right jian hao wilfred err-i-dunno-his-name-=x ken and at the back is weiqin. hahaa. and me and ben we went up to the hall all wet for mass dance after that lo. lol. on the second day whiel tying water bombs we got wet too. is like from 5 plus 6 in the mornign we tied the water bombs until 10 plus and i was all wet during tt period of time. had fun throwing water bombs at the campers =DDD wahaha.

oh yah i was damn happy to find back my long lost pri school fren sean! he transferred outta skool during p4 and i totally lost contact with him for a long long time. and i onli noticed him on the 1st camp day during actual story. dunno why the other time i didnt notice his name on the og lists. hmmm. wadever. im jus glad i found him =D

we had face painting on before jj night. then the zi xian come bugging me to join table tennis while paintign my face -.- lol. we painted s22 on our hands. huiyu helped do mine =D mine's the one in the foreground. heh.

ytd was the campfire rehearsal. wasnt exactly fun or anything like that. and the most frustrating thing was ji xiang zhiwei huiqi and wenny's stuffs got stolen. wad the hell.

055

2006-03-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

oh yea. finally back from camp. it was fun overall. although not as fun as mine was. it was quite disappointing at first. realli. the attendance was pathetic. we were the smallest og with 13 pple. AT FIRST. it then dwindled to 10. but it was oso good cos we got to know each other better. my og pple they were like stable compounds at first. but as they gradually opened up i realised they're damn enthu about stuffs. hahaa. esp world of combat. we can like play amond ourselves. 5 on 5. lol. and our cheering was louder than an og with 20 over ppl =DDD the most memorable was when we were backstage discussing abt the actual story stuffs. the kind of togetherness.. and a lot of pple complimented on og1's skit! heh. =D

i cried like siao on jj night. s22 peeps came back. actualli i told myself i wasnt goign to cry because so many pple were around. but when i saw suwen cryign i coulnt take it anymore. we were like sitting in a circle and most of us were cryign without saying anything. realli gonna miss them. all the fun times.. cried on yuzheng's shoulder. didnt noe he was tt nice as to offer me his shoulder. hahaa.

i cried again at eweb. i was kinda disappointed with my performance. it wasnt up to standard. realli. its like a spend a lot of time doing the games stuffs. and i got sunburn! T.T didnt spend time with my og. soemmore when i could spend time with my og i was either stonign or slacking. didnt like get them to interact. and i didnt initiate games for them to play. overall i think i didnt think i did well. hai.

cant type anymore. mom's nagging. argh. >.<

055

2006-03-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

Wooo! Today’s the first admin day. I was very enthu. Right from the start of the morning where me xinyi paul and Bernard went to usher in the campers frm the side gate. Budden the campers were like.. HMMM. Response was super poor. And pathetic. Become only the ogls doing cheers. Got this camper even call me “siao ah!” -.- like wth. My og was worse. CMI. Only got this bbss guy more enthu. The girls are all stable compounds la! And got this ger kp sticking with her bf from the opp og -.- wanqi and Yvette were stuck in their own world. Couldn’t really get them to interact. Except for a few. Chen ting and Josephine were veh nice =D was crapping a lot wif chen ting. Josephine was nice too, but she’s rather quiet. Today we were teaching the family the cheers. The campers’ response was so pathetic. Ah ma in the front could hear me shouting the cheer from the back very clearly. -.0 ber they all today were complaining abt the 1st intakers as well. they were really a handful. During intervals they had mass toilet breaks. And we were helpless in controlling them lo. Den they were super unenthu oso. And there were only like 10 over ogls taking care of them. They all had to do cheers by themselves while the 1st intakers stared and stoned and wad-have-you. zzz. Hopefully things turn out better tml =)))

After the ogl thingy had games attach meeting. Most of the time was spent waiting for the shadows to finish debrief. The shadows got blasted by mr ng. Poor hanyang got scolding from natteporn =\ I think they shd like reprimand the whole orientation team instead of jus the shadows. I think they veh jia lat. Do the most work get the most scolding yet get the least appreciation. I really respect this group of pple a lot sia.
Den after training me ber suwen and yuzheng we went to meet the s22 peeps! Oh man I miss them a lot lo! We didn’t have much time to talk but we’re gonna meet up again soon. =D so sad I couldn’t go with them to play pool in the afternoon. All because of stupid training. T.T

054

2006-03-04T21:34:00.000+08:00

have been damn busy with ogl stuffs the past few days. orientation's next week. yay! ^^ whahaa. went back to skool from 9-5 plus today to do stuffs. banners and flags and mass dance and song singing. kaoz. we were supposed to finish my og's banner family flag and f4's banner and flag la. kaoz. den soemmore the designs some kena rejected. den have to do again. after that had to tie to the sticks. zzz. before that iwas called to go to games attach. takign over xinyi cos she still appealing into skool. i was damn lost there la. i dunno wads going on at all lore. den siyun they all.. i wun say bu shuang they just looked very unapproachable =\ no one ENLIGHTENED me on wad i was supposed to do in actual story la. hmmm. and being games attach veh bz sia. have to meet here meet there. the worst part is after pple play we're the ones cleaning up T.T after that i went back francis and xinyi jus threw me the job of designing the f4 stuffs. -.- i was damn lost lore..

we got our family stuffs already =D as in the doraemon hp strap and transparent pouch. and blue shoelaces. gonna get new shoes tml to go with it. and meeting ber and ah ma to make the name cards for all the ogls and writing soem stuffs for them as well. =D as a gift. heh. went to eat dinner after the whole entire thing. played truth or dare. found out a lot of stuffs. hahaa.

and i jus called the campers just now. guess wad? we split the campers among ourselves so each person onli has to call abt 4 campers. one of mine the house number not in use anymore. the rest of them haven reach home. -.- damn suay. calling again later. hoepfully i wun get blasted by their parents for calling so late ><

053

2006-02-27T18:56:00.000+08:00

i am so not myself today = i dont know why i keep stoning and not talk. and i can kp staring at an obj for a very long time w/o realising it. man. kpt getting giddy spells too. must be because of the stupid fever >_<

052

2006-02-25T12:14:00.000+08:00

oh man. im stuck at home. supposed to be at ogl camp now but im sufferring from this stupid high fever. realli wanted to stay. but dinner ytd was bbq food.. if i ate that for dinner i'll most probably die of the heat. feel so guilty for pang seh-ing xinyi. we're the only 2 girls in our og sia. dunno why the zi yan person didnt come = anyway im in og1. im together with xinyi zhiming yuliang chris and rauf. had a realli fun time at the games.. didnt realli like the telematch though. all the cheering ytd has made my poor throat very very sore. and i lost my voice T.T was supposed to go to watch the b div girls bball match. maybe if i went i wouldnt be so sick. the weather was terrible ytd man. one moment it was damn hot and the other moment it was raining. -.- and we had to stand under the rain listening to mr leow. went to bathe and assembled in the airconditioned hall. argh. before that my whole family except me was sick, some of my bball mates were sick, and a lot of my class girls were sick as well. massive viral attack T.T

051

2006-02-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

Training was damn fun today! Hahaa. But didn’t really like the running part la. after that we trained with medicine balls. My arms are damn nua now. My whole body’s aching lore T.T den came the fun part. We did penalty kicks and played soccer! LOL. Really la. The whole bball team playing soccer on the field. Lol. Damn fun! The poor bball guys were like doing bball stuffs while we were enjoying a game of soccer ^^ whahaaa.

Did the family banner in the hall before training. Didn’t really help much even though I went there early. Nothing much to do.. there were too many ppl and too little things to do = suanwoo was doing everything la. She was the one drawing out the human figures.. only a few of them helped to cut and paste =\ ended up playing table tennis with chien. The girls table tennis captain asked us to join the team. But im not joining.. its fun playing table tennis but the training is damn monotonous. Not for me ><

050

2006-02-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

aint in a good mood now. it seems like everyone's leaving jj. im not saying they cant leave la.. but den i jus feel veh upset about it. i noe leaving's part and parcel of life but.. argh. im contradicting myself. wadever.